The Root of All Evil: Oil, Money, Religion or Us?

4
4

Oil: the root of all evil, or is it?
It has caused the capitalist swine, known as America, to propagate war with Middle Eastern countries.
The only reason we’re getting oil from Iraq is to fill the tanks of people who drive SUVs and to fill the tank of (spanking new Governor) Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Hummer. We can get oil from sperm whales.
Enough of my jocosity, there is no need for animal rights activists to write to me.
Let’s face it. The war with Iraq is getting out of hand. It’s starting to turn out like a mini Vietnam war, with anti-war protestors yelling on the streets, ‘Bring our troops home!’
Some even carry portraits of President Bush, sardonically made to look like Hitler.
America has this obsession to act as this world’s defender, as if it were given God’s right to police planet Earth. The hypocritical American government allows all religions to be practiced, yet abominates Islam.
This viewpoint induces Islamic countries to wage ‘holy war’ on America.
They see America as trying to eliminate Islam, in an attempt to get Muslims to apostatize Islam and convert to Christianity/Judaism.
Money: the root of all evil, or is it?
Oil companies are prodding President Bush to take action and to save their PRECIOUS, foreign oil. It is as if Bush were a donkey with a fat Texan on top of him dangling a golden carrot in front of him.
Well, Bush is a Republican so he represents an elephant. He’s still a jackass.
Religion: the root of all evil, or is it?
I believe this war is about religion.
In fact, almost every single war in history was probably due to religion. Nietzsche said it best: ‘Man made religion, because man fears death.’ I will elaborate about the topic of religion in another lecture, I mean article.
At first, during the Communist era, the American government was trying to ‘rid the world of Communism.’ It set out to accomplish this by instilling fear into USSR during the Cold War era.
What was the plan?
The plan was to stage a moon landing hoax. If I paid attention in Astronomy 101, currently, it would be detrimental to land on the light side of the moon, due to radiation and consummate heat from the sun. America did not succeed, as we still have Communist countries still in existence.
Now, America is trying to ‘rid the world of Islam,’ or so it seems.
The American government was quick to apologize and prostrate itself before the Iraqi people when several U.S. soldiers shot at and killed Iraqi police, who were mistaken to be malevolent Iraqi people.
It’s ironic how this same American government was slow to admit guilt and apologize for the deaths of two innocent Korean girls who were run over by a U.S. tank, weeks before the Iraqi affair.
The American government still has not apologized for the tragic incident in South Korea.
Politics: the root of all evil, or is it?
The movie by Michael Moore entitled ‘Bowling for Columbine,’ was a brilliant documentary that won the Oscar for Best Documentary Film. It showcased the depravity that is characteristic of asinine Americana, and the many attempts and failures to install Democratic leaders around the globe.
It belongs on your DVD shelf.
War: the root of all evil, or is it?
My opinion on war is that it is inevitable. Man will always wage war as long as man is in existence.
It is human nature to wage war.
For all you Darwin freaks out there, war is a way to regulate the human race. Just like predatory animals that help regulate the number of prey, which in turn, helps regulate the number of vegetation. Hence, peace is a risible, trifling word.
So, we’ve finally come to the conclusion. What then is the root of all evil? Maybe there is no single root.
Maybe I forgot to mention America itself as the root of all evil. I should presumably stop writing anti-American sentiments, or else …
In any what way, I say we 86 gasoline powered cars, like a girl with baggage (please, no letters). We should instead drive water powered cars, due out in 2010.
It’s time for Uncle Sam to ‘cry uncle.’

Eugene Suh is a fouth-year psychology major.

In this article