Slaughtering the Sacred ‘Dog’: Led Zeppelin’s Greatest Miss
Ben Ritter | Nov 21, 2005 | Comments 13
If I never hear Led Zeppelin’s ‘Black Dog’ again, I will be a happy man.
I know that among rock connoisseurs, this revelation will evoke a response similar to a declaration that Ringo Starr is my favorite Beatle, but I cannot stand idly by while this abomination of a song is praised by otherwise intelligent people.
OK, I’ll admit that the main riff isn’t bad (I’m referring to the riff that first occurs between 0:13 and 0:19). But it’s only six seconds long. Even when it’s repeated ad nauseum (at 0:24, 0:35, 0:47, 1:10, 1:21, 2:09, 2:21, 2:32, 2:44, 3:06 and 3:17), it’s really not enough to constitute an entire song on its own.
The guitar solo at 3:37 doesn’t help much either. It’s not that Jimmy Page is a bad guitarist, or even that he’s playing poorly on this song, but the sound quality is terrible. It sounds like Page was playing in a trashcan while he was being recorded onto a Thomas Edison wax cylinder from a hundred yards away. The result is that he’s almost entirely drowned out by John Paul Jones and John Bonham.
Speaking of Bonham, he seems to be sleepwalking through this song. Of course he’s ultimately incapable of playing poorly, but he’s given so little to do that he comes as close here as he ever does.
However, while musically ‘Black Dog’ doesn’t have much to propel it beyond mediocrity, it’s not an altogether terrible song on that basis alone.
Enter Robert Plant.
For whatever reason, Plant thinks that he sounds really cool when he sings in a ridiculous falsetto, but he really sounds pretty awful. That’s why the first half of ‘Stairway to Heaven’ is good and the ‘and as we wind on down the road’ part is not so hot.
I like Led Zeppelin as much as the next guy. In fact, the album that ‘Black Dog’ is on is one of my favorites. They are a great band, and consequently I can usually overlook the grating quality of Plant’s voice.
But why would anyone think that it would be a good idea to have the music drop out entirely whenever Plant starts squealing?
But more than the music, more than Plant’s screeching vocals, I can’t get over the utter weirdness of the lyrics.
A lot of people consider ‘Black Dog’ to be a ‘sexy’ song, but is it really?
Let’s consider the first two lines: ‘Hey, hey, mama, said the way you move. Gonna make you sweat. Gonna make you groove.’
Grammatically, this is imperfect, but I take Plant’s meaning to be something like, ‘Hey, hey, mama, [I] said [because of] the way you move [I am going to] make you sweat [and going to] make you groove.’
In case you’re unfamiliar with rock ‘n’ roll terminology, you can consult the Oxford English Dictionary entry for ‘groove,’ which reads, ‘To play jazz or similar music with ‘swing’; to be ‘in the groove’; to dance or listen to such music with great pleasure; hence, to make good progress or co-operate; to get on well with someone; to make love.’
In case you’re really dense, to ‘make love’ is ‘to pay amorous attention; now more usually, to copulate.’
In other words, the protagonist of the song (‘I’) is so aroused by the mode of movement of some unnamed second party (‘you,’ who may be the same ‘big-legged woman’ referred to in a subsequent verse) that he feels inclined to engage in sexual intercourse with her.
So far so good. But then the second line hits: ‘Oh, oh, child, way you shake that thing. Gonna make you burn. Gonna make you sting.’
Back up for a second. I can see why Plant would announce that he is going to make someone groove. I can even see why he would announce that he is going to make her sweat.
But why would anyone announce his intention to make someone ‘burn’ and ‘sting’? Is Plant promising a good time or an infection?
He might as well say, ‘Gonna give you painful urination. Gonna make you experience unusual vaginal discharge.’
I realize that Plant slept around a lot, and in all probability he was infected with a cornucopia of sexually transmitted infections. I’m a supporter of full disclosure between sexual partners, but does he really have to broadcast it to the world?
Then he goes on to describe an encounter with a ‘big-legged woman’ who steals his money and his car. This is a really weird non-sequitur, and it almost seems like Plant combined two unrelated songs to form this bizarre amalgam.
‘Black Dog,’ to me, is about as sexy as a traumatic memory I have of going to some hospital-sponsored safe sex fair, during which a crazy old man cackled, ‘That’s the sort of stuff they won’t show you in Penthouse!’ while narrating a very explicit slide show about chlamydia.
It’s about time we put this ‘Black Dog’ to sleep.
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Filed Under: Features
It’s amazing how so many writers looking to have their work read use big names like Led Zeppelin to drive readers to their pages.
In this case, we have a post sophomoric attempt at writing… I’ll give a quick synopsis of this writers attempt:
Bash, caveat, partial compliment, bash, bash, bash, bash, bash, caveat, compliment, bash, bash, use of dictionary to attempt to mince words, accusation, bash, bash, attempt at funny humor (this actually IS funny… but it’s always fun to use the word – discharge… so you get points here), bash, bash, end.
After reading the loyal Zeppelin comments, you find the following facts:
1. Led Zeppelin made great music despite their sometimes weak lyrics.
2. Most of the people commenting on Led Zeppelin know more about Led Zeppelin that the writer and can ever hope to. They even provide facts, details and occasionally reference their findings.
3. It is no great secret that many of Led Zeppelins popular songs are re-interpretations of American blues songs. It is now quite well known that they often did not credit to the original writer(s).
I think most importantly, you are missing the spirit of the music. The idea of a “hook”, a catchy riff, or memorable line that creates a unforgettable moment in time for a listener. Led Zeppelin has shown to do exactly that. Created wonderful music that seems to morph and change with time, allowing their music to last.
Now that you have done a bash piece… how about trying a more in-depth piece explaining just why their “plagiarized” tracks are so much better than their originals.
This is a review from somebody who over-intellectualizes their music; who listens to Dave Mathews or Phish over The Dead or Floyd.
Alright, maybe I’m being a bit too “Us verses Them,” but “Black Dog” is one of the great songs of Rock n’ Roll because it epitomizes that innate, intricate balance inherent to Rock, Soul, Jazz, and Blues music— the balance between frank, simplicity and unattainable, complexity— ie: the lick verses the solo, the beat verses the fill, the chorus verses the melody.
A major part of the song’s juxtaposition between “simple” and “complex” came as a conflict between two musicians: “Black Dog” was written by Jones in a 3/16 time signature which the guitar part follows, (there is a 5/4 interval in there for those who are interested). But when this proved too difficult to do in live situations, Bonham just played the drums at a steady 4/4 underneath it all, so the drums and the guitar are playing two separate time signatures, which is why you may hear Jimmy rushing it a bit during the second half of the lick.
As for the lyrics, man, nobody wants to hear your grammar gripes. Go add “ly” to people’s words and tell them to use “adverbs,” even when it is incorrect. As for the lyrics, let me explain it to you by printing the whole verse:
“Ah, ah, child, way you shake that thing,
Gonna make you burn, gonna make you sting.
Hey, hey, baby, when you walk that way,
Watch your honey drip, can’t keep away.”
Now Black Dog surely is not the most thoughtful, lyrically, of all of Zep’s songs, (after all certain lyrics were lifted from Fleetwood Mac’s 1969 “Oh Well” and even Plant himself was quoted as saying “Not all my stuff is meant to be scrutinized. Things like ‘Black Dog’ are blatant, let’s-do-it-in-the-bath type things, but they make their point just the same,)” that being said let’s read-into-it without reading too much into it:
There is an old blues-song tradition about using the honey bee metaphor, ie: “Honey Bee Blues” by Sonny Boy Williams and “I’m a King bee” made famous by Muddy Waters. I cannot necessarily explain “why” but it is a theme as obligatory to blues as the train— aka “smokestack lightening,” or meeting the devil at the crossroads, or killing your woman after she’s been untrue to you— “Down by the River,” “Hey Joe.” You see what I mean about the blues genre recycling metaphors to deal with like themes and situations? That being said, Black Dog, similar to those other forms of musical animism, is equating the situation and content of the song to that of a Black Dog’s. I think the rest you can infer.
So all in all, I am a huge Zep fan, in case you couldn’t tell… though Pink Floyd will always reign supreme in my book. Page is only rivaled by Jimmy Hendrix as as THE great Rock guitarist, Plant can give Daltrey a run for his money as the great wailing “scream” of Rock…maybe. Bonham was a force on the drums, but even more so a legend of Rock n Roll. And as for John Paul Jones, besides being one of the great composers of rock, have you ever heard No Quater live? I mean what a keys player! While Black Dog might be “novelty” Zep, it is still Zep, and let’s give credit where credit is due.
Let’s see you come up with a better song
I always took the lyrics “gonna make you burn, gonna make you sting” to mean he was going to f@ck her till she hurt
Are you really complaining about the grammar? That is supremely square. (Meaning not cool, hip, or far out etc). I pity your girlfriend.
Dude…You’re an idiot. I can’t believe you even brought a dictionary into a conversation about rock’n'roll lyrics, and talking about logical fallacies…Yeah man you get rock…Rock is about logic and not feeling You are correct. We are all sorry that we haven’t tried to literally interpret these lyrics.
You’re an idiot. You must be a Who fan.
I agree with Adam, but would possibly like to clarify somethings which you seem to interpret one way. I think the whole song lyrics do work as a coherent story. He meets a girl who really turns him on, has her in his mind all day long, but then he gets close to her and she ditches him, uses him, and in all ways acts as a person who “got no soul”. At the end he reflects that he wants an easy going women who won’t use him for his money and his fame.
I disagree with the “gonna make you burn, gonna make you sting” reference as being purely about disease. Sure, it could be seen in that light, but it also could that she is a “bee” who when she shakes “her thing”, means she is going to “sting” or pounce on an unsuspecting victum. This fits nicely with the next line, which mentions honey dripping. Basically, it’s not Plant who’s doing this to the girl, but rather the girl herself, by the way she dances, is doing it as a natural progression. (read: Hey, hey, mama, said the way you move [It's] Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove. Oh, oh, child, way you shake that thing [It's] Gonna make you burn, gonna make you sting.)
Of course, Zep is famous for double entendre’s, so they probably mean both. But there are much more clear ones then this in their songs.
I really really like Black Dog. And I might add I think Led Zeppelin was a great band because of everything you listed as a bad quality. That WAS Led Zeppelin. Plant’s screeching, crazy lyrics, the whole works, including the unforunate plagarism which you didn’t mention (which is the one valid critique against the Zep).
Dear Dolt,
Bonham is not sleepwalking. YOU should try to “drum along” with him and see how difficult the time sig. is. As for the rest of the song, I don’t think you “get it”.
Dude you are a so wrong….And 100 million people agree
Lame. Not my favorite Zep song either but this is a pretty lame critique. Not that Zeppelin can’t be criticized, either, but your points are weak. If the song were reworked to your specifications, it would sound just like any other formulaic song. It works specifically BECAUSE it’s different. Bonham doesn’t do much because the main riff to the song is in an odd meter. Bonham plays it straight 4/4, as a counterpoint to the busy-ness of the guitar riff. And why does the guitar solo HAVE to sit up on top? Listen to any 10 random guitar-driven songs on the radio and you’ll hear the solo right out front. Why be like every other song?
As for Plant’s singing, well, that’s a matter of taste I suppose. The truth is that there has been no rock singer since Plant in the early days with that kind of power and range. Don’t kid yourself: that voice was just as big a contributor to the success of the band as any other instrument. And again, the placement of the vocals between riffs sets the song apart from most other songs (except Fleetwood Mac’s “Oh Well” which was an inspiration for this song).
Finally, there’s no argument that Plant’s lyrics are genius — they aren’t. But NONE of his lyrics hold up well to close scrutiny, so this should be no surprise. The song surely is an amalgam of different verses but even this is an example of blues tradition, something Plant was certainly steeped in and further, something that was an important part of their live shows.
Say you don’t like the song and I’ll grant you’re entitled to your opinion. But if you pick it apart with straw house arguments, then you have to expect your house to be blown down.
as i devout zeppelin fanatic i wont slander you for this arcticle which i disagree with even though a single minded part of me really wants to, haha, i will simply suggest that you dont “get” zeppelin