Definition. The definition of ‘definition’ is defined more or less as the meaning of something (I’m sorry, did I just use that word one too many times?). Thus, when defining something, whether it be a word, concept or thought, one generally asks oneself, ‘What does this mean?’
Usually, we are not afraid to raise our hand in class and ask what the definition of a word is, nor do we hold back when curious about something that interests us. We are constantly searching for definition in our lives. Relationships are no different, yet at the same time, they tend to be the exception for many people.
Hypothetical Exhibit A: Two people are casually seeing each other (I am intentionally not using the word ‘dating’ for reasons pertaining to definition). They seem equally interested in each other and enjoy one another’s company immensely. But one day, over coffee, the two people (I am intentionally not using the word ‘couple’ either) are discussing their weekend plans when the guy nonchalantly mentions that he has a date that night. After the girl covertly wipes the scalding hot caffeine from her shirt, she proceeds to act like this other date does not bother her in the least. Why should it? After all, they had never had that talk about where they stood. She does not own him, they are not exclusive. Therefore, no rules are being broken, right?
Hypothetical Exhibit B: A girl and a guy have been spending quite a bit of time together since meeting three weeks ago and all seems to be well on the home front. But the guy can’t help but notice that the extent of their communication, outside of hanging out, has taken the form of text messages mostly coming from him. They have a great time when together, yet when apart, his phone is perpetually silent. He can’t help but wonder why the phone seems to be a dreaded device for this girl, at least when it comes to calling him. But then again, she does not owe him anything, since they are not a couple. Or are they? In his opinion, it is way too soon to talk to her, for fear of scaring her away. Who knows? Definitely not this guy.
I actually do have a point in discussing these two examples. The way I see it, people deserve definition if they desire it. The irony in this is that there is no one definition of definition. These days, dating has taken on a whole new persona. People are exclusive but purposefully have no title, people have open relationships, people casually date, and then, of course, you have the boyfriend and girlfriend titles, which is the only type of relationship most of our parents think exists (it appears that they are wrong). I know that at least one person reading this has been in the oh-so-enjoyable position of wondering where a relationship stands, yet hesitates to discuss it with the person for fear of sending them sprinting in the opposite direction. But if you ask me (and I am fully aware that you did not), these confused people owe it to themselves to ask the person for some sort of definition, if for no other reason than to avoid disastrous alternatives.
For example, if the confused person is your average girl, the uncertainty of not knowing where something stands will cause severe mood swings and outbursts, possibly resulting in a good friend’s black eye or broken leg. If this girl is a bit more restrained and sane, it is still no fun, since her friends will find their ears eternally glued to the phone, listening to her rant and complain about her situation.
An easy solution? Communicate. If worse comes to worst, the guy or girl on the other end will not accept the person who has enough self-respect to voice what he or she wants, and miss out on something potentially awesome.
And hey, even if that does happen, at least you’ve got definition.
Filed Under: Features