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Thumbs Up: The New York Times’ didactic article about Senator John McCain’s alleged affair with lobbyist Viki Isen has taped the mouth of the once reporter-friendly presidential candidate. If only an affair would do the same for President Hugo Chavez.

Thumbs Up: Last week, Jenny from the Block herself gave birth to twins. J. Lo assured worried fans all over the world that motherhood would not affect the production of ‘Gigli 2.’ Thank God.

Thumbs Down: Close to 200,000 residents in Guam got an expensive light show after a U.S. B-2 Stealth Bomber crashed last Saturday. The $1.2 billion aircraft, which uses highly-advanced technology to evade radar, is the second of two accidents involving military aviation in recent weeks. So much for a discreet entrance.

Thumbs Down: Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad asked the United States for an apology after a report by the International Atomic Energy Agency exonerated Iran of nuclear-weapons accusations. Sanctions by the United States would call for ‘reciprocal measures’ by the Iranian government, according to Ahmadinejad. Wait a second, what did you want again?

Thumbs Down: ‘This is where we start getting into silly season in politics,’ said Senator Barack Obama during Thursday’s CNN debate in response to Senator Hilary Rodham Clinton’s accusation that he used ‘plagiarized’ lines in campaign speeches. Deval Patrick, governor of Massachusetts and one of the individuals that Obama ‘stole’ from, is revealed to be one of Obama’s national co-chairs. You so silly, Hil.

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