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Thumbs Fucking Down: Everyone’s favorite monotonous, red eye-alleviating host Ben Stein compared the development of science to the gas chambers of Auchwitz. “Science leads you to killing people,” Stein said in a Trinity Broadcasting Network interview. So, that Clear Eyes solution for which people recognize you is not a derivative of science at all, right? And it isn’t because of science that you can still drag your decrepit carcass into your Malibu home, right? What do you do with that lifetime supply of eye drops, anyway?

Thumbs Up: Hillary Rodham Clinton, the Democratic Party’s resident sore loser, made an appearance on Faux News with Geraldo Rivera’s worst enemy, Bill O’Reilly. When O’Reilly pressed her about her “fair” coverage on the ultra-conservative network, she said, “I’m not a pundit or a commentator. I will leave that to you.” Slap on the tush for keeping your cool, but give Bill Clinton some tips about anger management. We still want to hear his sax solos and not have him die of another cardiac problem.

Thumbs Down: On a campaign originally created by presidential dropout Rudy Giuliani and continued by the city’s current cigarette-hating mayor Michael Bloomberg, New York has stepped up its marijuana arrests, with over 300,000 arrests over a nine-year period. Other than getting a good hot dog at Nathan’s, way to go to continue to decrease the city’s attractions.

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