John LaBruzzo; Alan Keyes; Campbell Brown is awesome.

Steven Choi; Sarah Palin; Barack Obama; ...Sarah Palin again. (Sorry, we couldn't resist. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. With an elephant gun—)

Imagine you're a healthy, actively dating woman in college. You've been dating this guy for a couple of weeks, and wouldn't you know it, it's going great. The two of you are beginning to get intimate, so like any rational, college-level woman actively dating, you go to your doctor for birth control pills. He says, "No, I won't give you any."

The financial foundations of our nation are crumbling under the weight of mismanagement and the global fiscal crisis. Thank goodness for that college degree, right? Not so fast.

If you have a tech-savvy friend, a pudgy, pimply little brother or know anyone else who fits the nerd mold, you might have heard them say this recently: "Dude, dude, the corporate machine is taking over, bro! They are limiting and controlling what we download, dude! It's suppression by the Man!"

As most university students know, participation in some community service project or community service group during high school looks favorable on a college application. Even though community service is auspicious on a college transcript, it's not a requisite for graduation at most public high schools and most students are unenthusiastic about it. In spite of the lack of enthusiasm many high school students have for helping their communities, universities are continuing to encourage it. In fact, they are encouraging it to such a degree that it has become mandatory at some institutions.

Since November is just a few weeks away, the two opposing forces that will define the month are gathering their arsenals for the final onslaught. Republicans have begun to arm their TIE fighters and power up their Death Star. For them, it is the final stand to maintain a stranglehold on their waning powers. On the other side, Democrats train their youthful Orc hordes in an effort to overwhelm those in control. In the middle of it all stands a man with all of the grace and wisdom of a knight from "Monty Python." His name is Ralph Nader.

The first presidential debate was tepid, which is worse for John McCain than Barack Obama. Compared to the fascinating forum at Rick Warren's Saddleback Church, this opening official battle was child's play.

Books in libraries and texts for writing courses can seem like fairly benign objects since they're just pages filled with words, bound in hard or soft covers, with occasional illustrations. They're just words, right? Who would think that words on a page could incite strong reactions or push people to keep some books out of others' hands?

ASUCI, along with UC Irvine in general, has undergone significant changes to meet the demands of our young and growing campus. One week into the 2008-2009 academic year, ASUCI has already established that it is nothing like past student governments.

Reviews of restaurants from everybody's favorite across-the-street shop-stop, the University Town Center.

Irvine Planeteers: Local beaches

Anteaters abroad: Iran

So you found out you're an Anteater. You probably haven't started practicing chants of "Rip ‘Em 'Eaters" for sideline cheers just yet, and you may have to ignore the snickers for a while when you tell your friends back home your sporting event war cry is a ferocious, "Zot!" And how about explaining to them that accompanying hand gesture? Haven't heard of it yet? Try bringing together your thumb, middle and ring fingers to make hind legs and a tail. Have your index and pinky fingers stand tall to make arms ready for a bear hug defense. Your hand may cramp now, but it'll become second nature by Winter Quarter. It's your Anteater, and it's reared and ready to attack...