Drawn and Quoted

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Quick, Call the Whabulator: Things aren’t so hot for the economy these days. Stocks are down, people are out of work and the very foundations of capitalism seem to shake. Last week, a new, hitherto unknown group of victims emerged. They are the wives, girlfriends and mistresses of the now-humbled Wall Street captains of industry. Facing steep cuts and sacrifices or, in their own words, “monthly Bergdorf’s allowance [that have] been halved and bottle service [that] has all but disappeared,” these women have started a blog titled DABA, short for Dating a Banker Anonymous, to provide fellow sufferers with a place to turn for support. On the site, they debate, among other similarly difficult subjects, how to dump a sugar daddy who is getting low on sugar. As one member put it, how should she “change [her] Facebook status from “in a relationship” to “I ain’t saying I’m a gold digger, but I ain’t messin’ with no broke banker.”
Refugee Run: In another example that supports the idea that rich people are in fact living on another planet, the annual Davos summit includes a “Refugee Run.” In this event, the rich and the powerful are invited to take a break from caviar and champagne to take part in a simulation of what it feels like to be a refugee. The hour-long exercise includes “fleeing a rebel attack, navigating a minefield, dealing with corrupt border guards, struggling with language, surviving on the black market and living in a refugee camp.” Somehow, I don’t think it comes close to the real thing.
Black is the New Black: In an interview with CNN, the head of Wilhelmina Model’s children’s division said, “We have gotten several calls for lookalikes … It’s a big trend.” It seems that Sasha and Malia are making it fashionable to be black, inspiring unauthorized dolls and an increasing number of advertising jobs for child models that look like them. While it is hard to deny the need for more diversity in the media, there is something more than a little off-putting about lumping it into the same category as other trends. After all, we wouldn’t want diversity to end up on the clearance rack along with those zebra print leggings that no one bought.
Saint Blago: The embattled governor of Illinois went on a media blitz in a last ditch attempt to save his job. In an interview with the Today Show, Blagojevich describes what was going on in his head the day he was arrested on federal corruption charges for allegedly trying to sell President Barack Obama’s senate seat. He recalled that as “the day unfolded and I had a whole bunch of thoughts … my children, and my wife and then I thought about Mandela, Dr. King, Gandhi and tried to put some perspective in all of this and that is what I am doing now.” No one was impressed by this bid for sainthood. The next day, the Illinois senate voted 59-0 to convict and remove him from office. A decision from the Vatican is pending. After all, the guy’s hair surely qualifies as a miracle, even if his integrity doesn’t.

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