Intimate Inquiries

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Four years ago I met a guy @UCI about two years older than I. We hit it off right away, hanging out, and definitely both into each other. The mutual attraction has not kept us apart since, but this guy didn’t want to commit to me when I brought up the idea of a relationship. We happened to be at a kickback this past summer, he professed the 4 letter word that we all hope to one day hear from our crush and asked me to finally commit now that he has everything going for him. I had to put a wall up then, but I wanted to cry listening to him finally open up emotionally. My friends think I should move on – that it’s not fair that I waited, while he played the field for awhile. Is it inconsiderate or selfish that he asked me now? Should I let go, and look elsewhere for another man? I’m starting to believe everyone that says I’m being taken advantage of for being TOO nice.

-Too Nice Guy

Dear TNG,

Fairness is a funny thing when it comes to relationships – sometimes it really doesn’t factor in to a decision at all. Sure, maybe it’s not fair for him to turn around and ask you for commitment when he couldn’t give it to you before, but maybe you still feel the same way now. What would be truly unfair is denying your own happiness just to spite him. “Putting up a wall” means that you’re putting up an act and, especially in this situation, the most important thing to do is be honest with yourself about how you feel.

With the advice you’re getting from your friends, it’s important to realize that your friends are trying to protect you from getting hurt. What they might not know is that it’s certainly possible for someone to make a mistake once, earn forgiveness and not repeat it.

That said, it sounds like this guy’s actions really hurt you, so you need to decide if you’re even able to forgive him. If you can get past that, you still need to go into this with the past in the back of your mind. Let him know exactly how you feel and lay strict guidelines on how you see the relationship panning out. Make sure he knows that you’re seriously second guessing getting back into a relationship with him because of how he acted in the past and that you want to take things slow. The main thing here is that you need to establish control of the relationship during this trial period – he’s the one who made the mistakes and wants you back, so you’re the one holding the reins and making the decisions.

If he’s consistent in his actions toward you, then he may be a changed man. If he starts getting flakey again, it’s time to turn yourself in another direction.

How do I make a sex with woman??? Thank you please.
-Chef

Dear Chef,
First, find a woman. Any woman will do. Gather the ingredients, follow the recipe below and make sure she helps.

Sex in a Pan Recipe

Ingredients:
1 cup flour
1/2 cup butter or margarine
3/4 cup chopped pecans
1 (8oz) package cream cheese, softened
1 cup confectioners’ sugar
1 tub whipped topping, 32 ounces
1 package (4oz) vanilla instant pudding
1 package (4oz) chocolate instant pudding
3 cups cold milk, divided
1 square semisweet chocolate, shaved, or mini semisweet chocolate chips

Preparation:

Combine flour, butter and pecans and press into a 9x13x2-inch baking pan. Bake at 350° for 25 minutes. Cool in pan on rack.

Combine cream cheese and confectioners’ sugar and spread over pecan mixture. Spread half of the whipped topping over the cream cheese layer.

Mix package of vanilla pudding using 1-1/2 cups of milk. Spoon evenly over the whipped topping; spread until layer is even. Mix package of chocolate pudding using remaining 1-1/2 cups milk. Spread on top of vanilla pudding. Spread remaining whipped topping on top and sprinkle with shaved semisweet chocolate or mini chocolate chips.

Need advice? Life Love and Lust is accepting questions and advice requests with complete anonymity through the Love and Lust blog linked from the features section of www.newuniversity.org.

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