Archive for January, 2010
The Mark of Sarcasm
Bibliophiles, intimate friends of Strunk and White and those who know how to properly punctuate “Eats, Shoots and Leaves,” hearken to me now: there is an imposter in our midst.
Sarcasm is a fine tool for the overly-literate to communicate their message of disdain and irony without simply saying so. To its masters, sarcasm is one [...]
Beastly Beauty Ideas
Women around the world spend gargantuan amounts of money to enhance their physical features. Whether they desire augmented breasts, height, or even a temporary cure for greasy hair, numerous women desperately seek a solution to correct their physical flaws.
Beauty has become a desirable treasure that women search high and low for. Aside from the casual [...]
‘OK’ is a Ninja!
Studies show that people use their Facebook profiles to present themselves in exceedingly favorable lights. Our profile pictures portray us as the paragon of beauty and spontaneity; our “About Me” sections contain profound ruminations about complex philosophical issues. We embellish our “Favorite Quotes” sections with insightful witticisms by the likes of Gandhi and Einstein, which [...]
Interns: Currency of the Capitol And Little Minions to People In Charge
Anyone who takes college seriously can attest to the importance of internships, whether you’re an engineering major or a studio art buff. D.C. is arguably the epicenter of internships.
At first, it seems that internships are irrational. Why would anyone take a job where they must lick envelopes for a congressman only to be paid with [...]
Life, Love and Lust
Hey Sandy,
So there’s this girl I met over the weekend. We had a good time and what not. We planned another date which will consist of church, snowboarding, bagels, and cream cheese. I guess you can call it another “hang out” session. I forgot to get her number down. But when I ask for her [...]
Volleyball Championship Banner to be Unveiled On Thursday
Thanks to Head Coach John Speraw, MVP Ryan Ammerman and the rest of the UCI men’s volleyball gang, another national championship banner will be going up at the Bren Events Center on Thursday.
UCI men’s basketball will take on rival Long Beach State at 7:35, with the banner to be unveiled at halftime. The Anteaters will [...]
Republican Upset in Massachusetts
Scott Brown, a Republican state senator, upset the Democratic candidate Martha Coakley to win the late Ted Kennedy’s senate seat. Brown’s victory will take away the Democrat’s 60 seat, filibuster proof majority in the Senate. How will this affect President Obama’s legislative agenda? What will happen to the healthcare bill, which still needs to be [...]
Ticketmaster : An Evil Plot to Take Over Music
American capitalism has always claimed to value competition in the free market. As consumers, we are supposed to have multiple options for everything, and this is beneficial both for us and for the businesses themselves. When you want to grab your morning latte, purchase a gym membership or buy a new digital camera, you have [...]
Haitian Earthquake Unearths Political Rot
Last Tuesday, a magnitude-7 earthquake hit the island nation of Haiti. As of Saturday, approximately 50,000 bodies had been recovered. The Haitian interior minister expects that the final death count will be as high as 200,000, or an unbelievable two percent of the total population.
Earthquakes are natural disasters. Despite what Pat Robertson has to say, [...]
UCI Attracts the Best Professionals; A Look at UCI’s Star Drawing Power
Where is Kobe Bryant’s training spot of choice? The ARC.
Where did Mark McGwire provide hitting lessons to Chris Duncan and Matt Holliday last offseason? Anteater Ballpark.
Where did Amare Stoudimire, Adrian Peterson, Troy Polamalu and other Nike athletes put on a clinic last spring? The Anteater track.
Where did the 2009 No. 2 ranked Texas Longhorns football [...]
