Predictable’s Never Been So Promising
Ian Massey | Aug 10, 2010 | Comments 5
In the National Basketball Association, the rich just keep getting richer. A flurry of transactions rapidly swept across the league, making fans do double takes each time they viewed some of the league’s elite rosters. Is that the Miami Heat or my fantasy basketball team? The 2010-2011 NBA season is bound to be absolutely predictable, yet for some reason I think people are going to watch.
In just one month, the NBA received a facelift. So, let’s get this straight: LeBron James and Dwyane Wade are now on the same team. The two guys who took the most shots in the NBA last year and who are arguably two of the top five perennial players in the league are wearing the same uniform.
Oh yeah, Chris Bosh, one of the best big men in the game will be gathering their rebounds … if they ever miss. Mike Miller, one of the league’s most decorated perimeter shooters, will be wide open when his three dominant teammates somehow struggle to find an open shot. And with virtually no cap space available, the Miami Heat still found a way to lock up role players Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Eddie House, Carlos Arroyo, Juwan Howard and Udonis Haslem to join them on their magic carpet ride to the Eastern Conference Finals.
After losing in a seven-game thriller to the Lakers in the NBA Finals, the Boston Celtics fell five points shy of being crowned champions once again. With the acquisitions of Jermaine O’Neal and Shaquille O’Neal down low, the Celtics are unlikely to kneel to any opponent. With Rajon Rondo, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett still going strong, expect them to stand in the way of Miami’s dreams in the Eastern Conference.
The Los Angeles Lakers have upgraded their backup point guard position from Jordan Farmar to Steve Blake. They also ushered in a player, with Matt Barnes, who could even give Ron Artest a run for his money in a swagger competition. Hoping to channel Barnes’ bad attitude, the Lakers will look to use his lockdown defense in order to mitigate the league’s elite offensive threats. Along with Barnes and Blake, the Lakers have retained promising athlete Shannon Brown and have brought in aging veteran Theo Ratliff to come off the bench for Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol.
They also have Kobe Bryant. If you haven’t noticed, he’s pretty good. In an offseason in which the Heat has shined, it’s still not out of the question for the Lakers to three-peat.
With the way things progressed over the past month, it appears for the other 27 teams in the league that there is no stopping the Heat, Celtics and defending champion Lakers. May God have mercy on the New Jersey Nets’ souls when they are forced to face the Heat. That is like throwing Lindsay Lohan into a hot dog eating competition with Joey Chestnut; it is simply unfair. Fans will sit through blowout after blowout to see if LeBron, Wade and Bosh can each eclipse the 30 point mark while defeating their helpless opponents by double digits. The Heat, Celtics and Lakers are bound to trounce opponents on a nightly basis. However, the monotonous, lack of competition will all be worth it next June when it comes down to the Eastern and Western Conference Finals.
Although the Chicago Bulls made considerable improvements with the additions of Kyle Korver and Carlos Boozer, and Dwight Howard’s Orlando Magic are always formidable opponents, the East will be run by Miami and Boston who look seemingly unstoppable to any team east of the Mississippi. The Dallas Mavericks and Oklahoma City Thunder look sharp in the West, but there’s no stopping Kobe’s crew which made considerable upgrades. As long as the world doesn’t end by next June, expect the Lakers to square off against either the Celtics or the Heat in the finals.
Ultimately, it appears that American sports fans prefer domination to Cinderella stories. We love rivalries. Whether it’s the Lakers versus the Celtics, Kobe versus Shaq, Kobe versus LeBron, Eli Manning versus older brother Peyton Manning, the Patriots versus the Colts or the impending rivalry of Lakers versus Heat, it appears that Americans have more of an affinity for Goliath versus Goliath rather than David versus Goliath.
The impending dominance which is bound to take place in the NBA will create an extraordinarily bi-polar concoction of boredom and excitement. Psychiatric wards throughout the country should be on call in the event that a fan actually sits through a Sacramento Kings versus Cleveland Cavaliers game. With a vacancy created in their starting lineup from LeBron James’ departure, the Cavaliers look just as pathetic as Charles Barkley would look if he attempted to beat Usain Bolt in a footrace. The extreme amount of free agent signings led to a complete upheaval of the balance of the NBA. It does not take a genius to realize that there is no chance for the rest of the mediocre teams to catch up to the league’s top tier franchises next season.
The NBA has three teams in major markets: Miami, Boston and Los Angeles. These three teams possess some of the finest players in the league. Kobe, Gasol, Shaq, Rondo, Garnett, Pierce, Allen, LeBron, Wade, Bosh … all populating just three teams. Ratings will be through the roof next June. In nine months, the mother of all NBA matchups is expected to give birth to one heck-of-an NBA Finals.
The season tips off in October, but it will get real in June. The lack of parity in the NBA will make for one of the most predictable, yet overwhelmingly compelling seasons in sports history.
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My apoligies for inaccurately stating that Dwyane Wade and Lebron James took the most shots in the NBA last season. I meant to say that neither of them is shy when it comes to taking shots. The sentence was poorly worded. I now realize that my statement creates an inaccurate assumption which strays from my original intentions. As an aspiring sports writer, I have opinions that not everyone will agree with, I realize that. I also realize that I’m bound to make mistakes. Thank you to those who pointed out ways in which I can improve. You may have your doubts, but I assure you the New University’s sports section is in good hands. I look forward to proving this to the readers.
A differing opinion about the Heat. http://greatwesternforum.wordpress.com/2010/07/18/south-beach-not-known-for-its-benches/
Calling Chris Bosh an elite player is like calling a golden retriever a fierce breed of dog, a Jumbo Jack a gourmet hamburger, and Ian Massey a future Pulitzer Prize winning journalist. Among the awful analysis in this piece, saying Bosh is one the League’s best players is probably the most egregious. Here are his last three seasons (07-08 to 09-10): 22-9, 23-10, 24-11. The Raptors won ONE playoff game during that stretch and did not make it in a paltry East the last two years. So basically Bosh is 2005-06 Elton Brand (25-10). Yet Brand took the Clippers to the brink of a birth in the West Finals in a conference with at least nine legitimate playoff contenders.
In no world, even the one you live in, would anyone say Elton Brand is one of the league’s best. Don’t try to convince yourself Bosh is either.
Every sentence in your story is a landmine. Its accuracy, grammatical ticks, false logic, limited creativity, and overall lack of quality are what I have come to expect from this publication on a consistent basis, so kudos for that. You are nothing, if not consistent.
Here are two basic factual problems:
1) “Dwayne” Wade is a 35-year-old man in Davie, FL. Dwyane Wade is a guard on the Miami Heat.
2) Lebron James and “Dwayne” Wade did not take the most shots in the NBA last year. And let’s say that statistics (sorted by field goal attempts) are wrong on every major sports website, why is having two guys that shot the most on the same team a good thing? Does that mean if my favorite team acquired, say, Monta Ellis (11th most shots) and Stephen Jackson (8th most shots) that I would have a surefire contender? Oh wait, that’s the 2009-10 opening night backcourt for the Warriors, which clearly worked out well.
There are so many mistakes, using the hyperbole that the New U half-heartedly thrives on, with this story that it would be an effort in vestige to list them all. However, I will offer one final piece of advice: Please, if nothing else motivates you in future writing, support your commentary with evidence. Clearly this should be a basic tenant of writing. And you were somehow accepted to one US-News and World Report’s top 50 public schools in the nation (a sad commentary on our education system, no less).
Take this sentence for example: “They also ushered in a player, with Matt Barnes, who could even give Ron Artest a run for his money in a swagger competition.” Not only is this grammatically awkward, but does not make sense. What is a “swagger competition?” What about Barnes makes him have swagger?
Your comments throughout the piece are hollow without statistical, informational or quotable support. This sentence is just one example.
I would say, “good effort,” but I honestly believe no effort was put into this.
You say, “The two guys who took the most shots in the NBA last year… are wearing the same uniform.” I didn’t realize Kevin Durant and Kobe Bryant are on the same team now. Cool. Thanks for the accurate information. It sounds like the newest guys in charge of the sports page at the New U are just as bad as the previous two groups.