Gender Roles: Men, Women, And Rape
Ryan Cady | Nov 27, 2012 | Comments 15
This week on campus, a number of movements picketed and soapboxed to prevent sexual assault. And don’t get me wrong; that’s a very good thing. Rape and sexual assault are some of the more heinous and damaging crimes that human beings can enact upon one another. My problem is not with groups determined to prevent these crimes, but with the nature of these groups.
Take the main organization on campus, for example: CHAMPS.
CHAMPS is a division of the CARE office here on campus, and it stands for “Challenging All Men to Prevent Sexism.” Now, ignoring the fact that that’s an imperfect acronym, I have another beef with the naming of the program: Men. Hang on, let me check a dictionary really quick: n., prejudice or discrimination based on sex. That’s weird … it doesn’t say anything about how sexism is a sin relegated only to the proportion of our population possessing penises.
And then there’s the White Ribbon Campaign, which CHAMPS makes a point to associate itself with.
A glance at the White Ribbon Campaign’s website reveals some dynamic logos and the words: “What Does It Mean to Be A Man Today? It’s Time For A New Vision of the Perfect Man.” The White Ribbon Campaign further promises to educate men about how they can further prevent gender-based violence, a trait seemingly limited to their barbaric sex.
That’s my main problem here. Last I checked, our society was striving for an egalitarian approach, not a sexist one. The vision was that men and women are equal, and must be treated equally … so then why does no one care about men?
Oh, I know what you’re thinking, reading that line. Privilege comes to mind, I’m sure; a word you’d love to scream at me. What does a man know about sexism? When are men ever mistreated? How can a woman rape a man?
That last question is oh-so-poignant. Last week, images of a young man holding Sharpie’d posters (in the vein of “I need feminism because”) explained the dangers of viewing rape as a gendered crime. When he explains that he was raped, people simply ask: “How can a woman rape a man?” When he saw his rapist out on the street, he simply broke down, as can be expected, and his then-fiancee’s only response was: “Why don’t you man up?” Man up? Same sort of sexism as calling someone a “pussy” for being in touch with their feelings, isn’t it?
A woman gets a man drunk, then sleeps with him. Rape?
How about this: A man gets a woman drunk, then sleeps with her? Beginning to see the double standard?
Let’s put it in a pop culture perspective. During the AMA’s this previous week, 18-year-old Justin Bieber was practically molested on stage by the 40-year-old Jenna McCarthy, who groped, kissed and wouldn’t let him go, despite furious wriggling on the Canadian pop star’s part. Afterwards, Bieber struggled away and somewhat jokingly claimed, “I feel violated.” McCarthy was flirtatious, but unapologetic. When Bieber tried to explain his displeasure, fellow stars and starlets claimed to be envious of his position, and even joked about his sexual preference. Right. Because you’d have to be gay to not allow unwarranted, public sexual advances, right? But to really get a grasp on this situation, just picture a gender reversal: a washed-up man in his forties, groping a nubile young 18-year-old girl on stage. Think society would be up in arms? Think you’d be?
But back to the problem of rape, and it is a big problem, for many reasons.
One being its definition: until this past January, the federal definition of rape was “the carnal knowledge of a female, forcibly and against her will.” Not only does this discount female-to-male rape, and other forms of sexual assault, but it also totally discounts the thousands of men who are raped in prison each year, who are still wholly ignored in rape statistics today.
Additionally, another issue with the criminal justice system’s treatment of rape deals with a lack of anonymity, and, quite frankly, a stance of guilty until proven innocent.
A victim of sexual assault should never be afraid to go to the authorities, but that attitude gives rise to a slew of new problems. A man can have consensual sex with a woman, and if the woman so desires, she could quite easily accuse him of rape and have him arrested. Even when the man proves himself innocent, the case was made public, and he may still be labeled a sex offender.
I suppose the real issue here is gender roles, on both sides. An absurd amount of sexism in society has made it so men must be tough, because men are privileged. Men are naturally sexist brutes, and all of them have the potential to rape. That’s why they have the distinct privilege of being drafted into the military, whereas women are not. And the same sexism victimizes women, indoctrinating them into buying into myths like Schrödinger’s Rapist (assume every man is a potential rapist).
Consider the very nature of feminism’s monopoly on equality, that implies oh-so-ironically that men, or anyone who does not ally themselves with feminism, is not an egalitarian.
But feminism, as much as it claims to be, is not a band-aid for the world’s problems. Feminism does not truly assist with trans issues, or men’s issues, or race issues. In a way, it only furthers the divide between men and women by pitting them against each other.
There shouldn’t be a Men’s Rights Movement, nor should there be a feminism, because women and men should be treated equally, in every respect, from the draft to child custody battles (women almost always win) to rape.
Everyone, progressive men and women both, desire equality and egalitarianism.
Ryan Cady is a third year psychology and English double major. He can be reached at rcady@uci.edu.
Filed Under: Opinion
Beautiful article. Men’s Rights are human right.
There are so many issues with the piece, it’s hard to know where to begin.
First, CHAMPS and White Ribbon do not represent, nor do they claim to represent, the ONLY form of gender-based and sexual violence. These groups have simply identified one of many approaches to raising awareness and promoting preventive education on the topic. Engaging men as allies in an effort to address gender-based violence is an effective and important strategy; although, it is not the only strategy.
Second, your characterization of feminism is inaccurate. It is important to mention, however, that I would not expect a Psychology/English major to be familiar with feminist theory, because it does not fall within the scope of the curriculum in either of the two disciplines. For future reference, so that you may write from an informed and authoritative perspective, here is a basic lesson in feminist theory: feminism is not characterized by female pride or anti-male sentiments. It is a sociopolitical ideology that rejects misogyny, meaning institutionalized discrimination, violence, oppression, and hate that is directed at women and based solely on the subjugated status of their gender.
Lastly, there are several assertions in the piece that are wildly inaccurate. In fact, they are blatantly false, and appear to be intentionally misrepresented. To be fair and specific, I would like to highlight the claim that men are absent from sexual assault statistics. There is plenty of research that indicates males are frequently victims of sexual assault. In general, academic research on victimization indicates that male children are victims at nearly the same rate as female children. During adolescence, or the teen years, the gap widens and assault become more prevalent in females. Where the gap is most prominent is after college age. In adulthood, sexual assault victimization virtually disappears in males, but in females it increases significantly. The actual statistics, not these made-up, imaginary statistics you mention in the article, indicate that women (meaning adult females) are disproportionately impacted by sexual assault, and most frequently the perpetrator is a male. If you would like an extremely reliable example, you are free to look up the National Crime Victimization Survey, although it is important to note that these statistics are slightly skewed because the survey includes respondents 12 and older, which means the prevalence of male victimization is overrepresented in the sample, given the basic information provided above regarding gender and age. I should mention again, that a Psychology/English major would not likely be familiar with criminological research, although I recommend that the next time you write an article you should research the topic ahead of time.
As an English major, you must be familiar with the importance of knowing your audience, of commanding authority and substantiating claims, and the components that make for a compelling persuasive argument. In this piece you have not demonstrated any of these things. Your positions are inflammatory, insensitive, and offensive. As a writer, and apparently an amateur psychologist, I would have expected more from your piece. Instead I read a weak argument, full of hypocrisy and unnecessary malice toward men, women, victims, activists, and academics. This piece served not as an attack on sexism and double standards, it served as a full-fledged assault on information, logic, and decent writing.
I just have three quick questions.
1) What exactly do you know about CHAMPS?
2) What do you have against what they stand for? (You’ve stated that you don’t like their “nature”, the acronym, and the “dictionary definition” of men, but what does CHAMPS do that appalls you so much)
3) Where did you get your information about CHAMPS? (Attend a workshop? Know a friend in CHAMPS? Walk up to a booth and ask question?)
Hi there Noble,
If you’ll notice, my criticism of CHAMPS (which was little more than a signpost for the rest of the article, rather than an actual “criticism”) amounts to the name, and the message that men are solely the problem.
Nowhere did I claim that CHAMPS doesn’t do good WORK. Why should “MEN” be challenged to prevent sexual assault? Why shouldn’t we simply all just work together to prevent sexual assault?
See what I mean? It’s polarizing. That was my point.
I’ll apologize if it seems like CHAMPS is getting a bad rap here, but if you read the whole article, you notice nowhere did I say CHAMPS “appalled” me or I wanted them abolished. Frankly, the article has little to nothing do with CHAMPS, except that CHAMPS was used as an example of polarization. I never made a single claim about what CHAMPS does; my concern was with their nature (i.e. their name and how they rhetorically appeal. Challenging MEN.)
Thank you for reading.
“Everyone, progressive men and women both, desire equality and egalitarianism.”
Though I agree with your good intentions, belittling the efforts of students to end gender-based violence, the issue of sexual assault, and its very own survivors is not the solution.
Don’t forget the double standard in “sex offender” cases. If a 40-year-old female teacher sleeps with a 14-year-old, we judge how “hot” she is and wonder where she was when we were in school. Flip the gender, 40-year-old-male teacher with 14-year-old girl, he is a “pedophile” (a misnomer if he’s with a pubescent girl).
Well done for publishing this article. It took a lot of courage to say what everyone else is afraid of saying in case they hurt ‘feminists’feelings.
Great piece. Glad to see someone asking these questions and raising these issues. They are long overdue.
You should be doing a story on this: http://youtu.be/H4zSRkBMPng
” it doesn’t say anything about how sexism is a sin relegated only to the proportion of our population possessing penises.”
It takes more to be a man than to simply possess a penis…that’s trans-erasure. This sentence is kind of useless anyways.
” a word you’d love to scream at me”. Yes, because all of us feminists are screaming hysterical banshees. Angry about men being stereotyped as rapists, but not angry about stereotyping women as banshees.
Feminism does help with trans issues. The ONLY time the MRM mentions trans people is to misgender them, deny their existence, or to listen to a trans man say “It’s harder to be a man”.
“. A man can have consensual sex with a woman, and if the woman so desires, she could quite easily accuse him of rape and have him arrested.”
The man could do the same thing, if he wanted. You know what, whatever, anyone who is worried about being accused a rapist for the fun of it is wearing the tinfoil fedora.
Hi! Thanks for reading! Allow me to address your comments in order:
1) Ignoring any discourse we could have about “phooey on binary gender roles!,” I’ll concede that you’re right. I merely like the alliterative “population possessing penises.” It sounded nice. Guess I should’ve taken advice and killed my darlings?
2) Well, granted, that wasn’t really aimed at feminists…that was aimed at people who like to discount the opinions of cisgendered anglo males solely because of their privilege. And I’m certain most true feminists would discount these people.
3) That’s not fair. You’re generalizing a whole group of people who, over my last few months of interacting with them, have proven to be, for the most part, quite respectful of trans individuals and women. You generalizing the MRM that way is like claiming that all Feminists are man-haters simply because a few “banshees” exist.
I’m not excessively active in the MRM because, frankly, I’m not a fan of pitting men and women against each other. Both (some) MRAs and (some) Feminists, in my opinion, hijack trans individuals for their “Aha! I’m right!” stances.
4) Come now. Let’s be pragmatic. Just like we both know that the majority of rapes are committed by men (which still doesn’t discount woman-on-man-rape or man-on-man rape), we both know that society would not take him seriously.
False rape claims are very real; it’s asinine to live in fear of them, because that’s unhealthy paranoia. It’s also asinine to live with Schrodinger’s rapist.
It’s also a touchy issue, because historically, rape victims have a fear of being disbelieved.
And of course, it wouldn’t be for “the fun of it.” It’d be for the same reason anyone slanders or blackmails anyone.
Again, thanks for reading.
Thank you for answering her clearly biased claims in a calm and respectful manner.
Finally, some real fair and balanced views on sensitive issues.
It is about time someone on campus pointed out the World ain’t “Men Bad an’ need correcting” and “Women good an’ down trodden by society”. The World is more nuanced than this, but political powers on campus like it this way.
Brilliant article Ryan, and I agree with everything said. The Bieber/McCarthy groping was annoying because I actually had to explain to others why it was wrong.
They don’t count prison rape (IMO) because it would make the number of female rapes seem so insignificant… and they can’t have that happen.