Author Archive for Justin Huft
Juvenalian Judgments: Mitt Romney Hates Poor People
George Bush hates black people, Congress hates vegetables (but loves pizza!), and Mitt Romney hates poor people. True story. After his recent Florida primary victory over his opponent, Newt “The Angry Pillsbury Doughboy” Gingrich, Romney made a true-to-heart Republican comment, “I’m not concerned about the very poor …” When asked to clarify, he went on to say, “They have a safety net for them.” Brilliant, Romney. Just brilliant. My favorite part is when he says that, in our country, the very poor are doing just as well as the very rich. You know, since the poor have government safety nets, and the rich have … swimming pools filled with gold bullion. I think it’s fair to say that those two groups are evenly matched.
Fewer Jobs for More Criminals
In most articles, I try to write with a certain audience in mind. That being said, I usually carefully craft what I say, as to elicit the best response. In the case of this article though, I’m not going to sugar coat things. I’m just going to be brutally honest. I really don’t feel bad for ex-convicts who can’t find jobs.
Obama’s State of the Union
I’m going to be honest. When I started writing this, I really wanted to put Obama on blast. I wanted to tear him down. I wanted to channel the discontent and undeniable frustration that my generation (where less than 1 percent of us disagree with the 99 percent) has been voicing. Unfortunately, after watching the State of the Union, I was forced to recognize the better points that Limbaugh and Beck’s arch-nemesis had to offer.
Neeson Dances with Wolves
HOWL: “The Grey” is the best Liam Neeson vs. wolves movie you’ll ever see.
The Best Tax Plan in the State?
Good news and bad news. Bad news is I just found out that Gov. Jerry Brown is a secret Republican. The good news is … well, there isn’t any, actually. I just didn’t want to start out as such a Debbie Downer. Like a true secret Republican, Brown decided it would be in the best interest of the people of California if the educational budget was slashed. How much? Only a measly $4.8 billion. Yes. That’s right. Brown infiltrated his way into the true blue party over 40 years ago, only to cut almost a month’s worth of funding from public schools, and reveal he was a GOP ninja the entire time.
Look, Kids! We Got a Zoo
ANIMALS: For this heartfelt film, a box of tissues will come in handy when the tears roll down your cheeks.
GOP Sabotaging the Youth Vote?
The times they are changin’, Mr. Dylan. They’re changing, indeed. I remember growing up in a time that now seems long ago, when the government actually encouraged people to vote. They had entire campaigns dedicated to it. They even got Jason Mraz to tell me to do it. That was back in the day. Back before the Republican party decided that it wanted to try and stop people from voting. And I’m not talking about the good old-fashioned “put the fewest number of voting booths in the most inaccessible part of town, to prevent all the minorities from voting” trick. I’m talking about the newest war on Americans that the GOP is fighting.
Sexist Survey Offends Students
I really don’t know if I’m supposed to be disgusted or amused by Coach Lynch’s antics. In case you’re lost, here’s a quick recap: A football coach in Wyoming gave his players a questionnaire every time they raised concerns or complaints about something. Seems logical so far. Some of the items asking why a student filed this “Hurt Feelings Report” included: “I am a pussy,” “I am a little bitch,” “My butt is easily hurt,” and my personal favorite, “I have woman-like hormones.” This report also needed a “girly-man signature” at the bottom, and required you to print your name next to “little sissy filing report.”
Occupy Cal: Taking It to the Streets
It’s really no surprise that, yet again, the University of California, Berkeley (Cal) is at the heart of some political controversy. This time is different though. Instead of this ruckus being about students protesting budget cuts, carbon emissions or how many types of granola are available at the cafeteria, it was actually the Cal police who were at the center of this uproar.
A New Kid in Animation
If you haven’t seen “Allen Gregory,” then you’re missing out. I know I said that about “Angel,” “Joey” and “The Cleveland Show,” but I mean it this time. This show is gold. The main character of this brilliant show is none other than seven-year-old Allen Gregory DeLongpre, the upper-class, suited-up and spoiled son of two [...]
