I Have a Cell Phone And I Know How to Abuse It!

Assholes have apparently become as common in our society as the ringing of a cell phone.
It’s sad, really. At a time when we can take pictures of other galaxies and clone entire organisms, we’ve forgotten the significance of common courtesy. Makes me wonder: could it be that our growing acceptance of rudeness is attributed to technology?
Case in point: cellular phones.
We let them ring during movies, dinners and lectures. We speak on them while others are waiting in line behind us at the supermarket or on the freeway.
Maybe the thought of being a nuisance to other people doesn’t even cross our minds or maybe it does and we just don’t care.
But the fact is that it happens, and it happens too much.
Cell phones can easily ring at the wrong place at the wrong time. And when your phone causes a distraction or causes you to be distracted, you waste other people’s time.
Other people’s time, I might have to remind you, is just as valuable as yours. I understand if you just forget to turn off the ringer or you have to take an important call, but lots of people seem to be without reasonable excuses.
Some seem to use their cell phones to show-off.
What they’re flaunting, though, I’m not exactly sure. It can’t be the mere possession of a cell phone that they think is cool. This isn’t 1990, when only people like Zack Morris were privileged enough to have a mobile phone. Everyone owns one now, so how can it make anyone special?
Maybe some people think that receiving a phone call makes them look cool.
Umm, yeah. No one ever says, ‘Look! Willy’s phone just rang! He must be popular.’
For all we know, Willy’s mom could be calling to remind him to buy her some hemorrhoidal cream on his way home from school. How cool does Willy look, now?
There was this girl in one of my math classes last year who probably thought she’d score some points on the cool meter if she left her phone on during class. So, in the middle of lecture, it would always be the same damn polyphonic ring tone that I’d heard the week before.
And what did she do when it rang? She’d answer the phone, of course. With her attempt at a deep, seductive voice she would start off the conversation with, ‘Hey, I’m in class right now. Okay, where do you want to have lunch?’ loud enough for five neighboring rows to hear.
Call me old-fashioned, but isn’t it a little disrespectful to interrupt your professor while he’s trying to teach 100 or so students something he or she is passionate about? I’m docking cool meter points for that girl.
Maybe speaking on the phone in a public place makes people feel important. Much like a $2 hooker, however, it only makes people look pathetic.
This man used to come into the store I worked at, still wearing his scrubs to let everyone know that he was a doctor. Him and his receding hairline would hop out of a yellow convertible BMW (yes I said yellow) every afternoon, dial a number before entering the store, then get in line to place his order, mid-conversation.
I guess he wanted to appear too important to pay attention to anyone waiting on him, even if it meant holding up the line. He
just ended up irritating other
customers and giving my
co-workers and a million
and two reasons to talk shit after he left.
(Side note: if you don’t want spit in your drink, complete the phone conversation before you get in-line. Before!)
Just like the road-raged maniac hides behind the windows and doors of his car, cell phone users seem to put on a too-busy-to-be-considerate-of-others mask.
And it’s pointless. It just makes people angry, and constantly angry people just turn into assholes.
There are enough assholes out there. So let’s just turn our phones off once in a while. Isn’t that what voicemail is for, anyway?

Do cell phone idiots piss you off, too? Do I piss you off? Let me know what pisses you off! Write me: navarrot@uci.edu.