You Pick: IAC’s Tyranny or a War on Rats?

It’s the start of a fresh quarter, and you know what that means: You have a clean academic slate, so it’s time to set worthy goals, such as learning to blow perfect smoke rings or winning drinking games.
It’s also time to consider your housing options for the coming year.

Dan Gordon is a fourth-year engineering major.
Ha! I’m only kidding; you don’t have options. You have to live with the Irvine Apartment Company (IAC.)
It cannot be denied that IAC is a soulless evil monopoly of death that profits from renting living spaces best measured in square nanometers.
IAC’s own mother would not contest that.
Still, I must acknowledge one flawless aspect of my own two-year stay at IAC complexes: Not once did a colony of greasy rats the size of cantaloupes attempt to establish a sovereign nation in my ceiling.
More on that later. First, we must travel back in time.
When you live with the IAC, you are actually helping revive the lighter side of the Dark Ages: the feudal system.
I’m referring to the same feudal system you learned about in high school