Vitamin P is Part of a Healthy American Diet
‘P’ stands for PORN.
Now imagine a world without it.
Stop hyperventilating. Just bear with me; I have a point.
In a pornography-free world, no one would have reason to blush in the magazine section of a liquor store. Pubescent boys and girls would never sneak through their parents’ underwear drawers for wittily-titled, backyard-quality videos and plastic-wrapped magazines.
The black and white silhouette of a bow-tied bunny would imply nothing more than, oh, an Easter formal or something. The names Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson wouldn’t even ring a bell.
And the Internet would be useless! (Just kidding.)
But so what? The world doesn’t really need the publication and distribution of nude photographs and shotty footage of well-endowed people partaking in the human reproductive process. Who wants to see hot, naked bodies and wild sex anyway?
There is a reason why many of you out there are raising your hands at the moment. ‘I sure as hell do,’ you say.
Porn sells for a reason. The beauty of the human body is as undeniable as Britney’s implants. And the human body has needs which can only be denied for so long: we die after three minutes without oxygen, two days without water, seven days without food, and as for sex …
Okay, so we don’t necessarily die without sex. But our sex drive works like any of our other physiological needs