Simple Biology Explains the History of the True Sports Fan

Sports fans will paint every inch of their skin and brave sub-zero temperatures.
They’ll punch walls, hide their faces under pillows, scream and mope (and cry) when their team loses. They’ll spend their money on Sports Illustrated subscriptions, throwback jerseys or pitchers of beer at local sports bars. They’ll leave work early to watch the game. They’ll call radio stations to proclaim dominance over any and all opponents to their team