Tuesday, July 7, 2020
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Allan Rants

Everyone always says that you should be careful for what you wish for. I guess everyone is right, but for the most part, you wish for things because you think that what you wish is fantastic. You build up this notion of what you want, you come up with assumptions. This couldn’t be more true when it comes to flings.
I remember a conversation I had with my Spanish teacher during my senior year in high school. I told him that when I came to UCI, I wanted a \”friend with benefits.\” He said that my idea was OK, but that I would get in a lot of shit. I thought, \”Psh. Get in shit? How could you get in shit when all you do is have sex and there are no strings attached?\” Boy, was I wrong.
It’s not like I’m sorry for what I wished for, but there were some things I didn’t know about flings that I wished I knew beforehand until I got into it this past summer. When you think about having a fling, all you think about is the fun part, the sex. Okay, I can’t complain in that department, but sometimes you think with your other head so much that you forget about all the other baggage that comes along. So my service to you beloved readers, who took the time to go online and read this, is to provide you with some common myths and realities about flings.
Myth One: You spend less money maintaining a relationship with a fling than with a real girlfriend.
Reality One: Well, in a word, no. Basically, because she knows that you’re using her, you have to treat her more nicely and take her out more often on dates to make sure she feels like she isn’t just getting used, even though she is. Confusing enough? I hope not. Sure, you save money by not having to buy all the small items (Meaning, teddy bears, chocolate, and the oh-so-dreaded dozen roses) that you usually would have to give a real girlfriend. But you pay for it in the long run with your trips to the Cheesecake Factory, or that really nice but expensive seafood restaurant at the end of Newport Pier.
Myth Two: You’ll invest less time attempting to maintain the relationship with your fling than with a regular girlfriend.
Reality Two: No. It’s pretty complicated. All girls are girls, so whether or not she is a fling or girlfriend, she’ll still be stubborn, bitch at you with no advanced notice, demand attention, affection, etc. The difference is that it is easier to maintain a relationship with a girlfriend because you can simply say \”I love you\” to diffuse the situation. Simple as that. For flings, since you can’t say those three words, you end up having to spend more time talking to her, to make sure she won’t be mad at you and want to end the whole thing.
Myth Three: It is easy to act normal around your fling in public when you are around others.
Reality Three: Say you’re at the movies