Fed Up? Join the Anti-Conservative Party

I spent election eve at an all-night party hosted by a friend which featured a group of decidedly partisan and acid-tongued Democrats. I remember three distinct lines of thought as I grimly tied one on, progressing from wine to mixed drinks and finally, malt scotch.
First, I remember thinking Sen. Joe McCarthy might have been right after all. There really is a Red Menace threatening the survival of America. Look, it’s right there on ABC, the central and southern parts of the country turning an angry, uncompromising red.
Later, I conceived of a plan to sell T-shirts over the Internet. These, too, would be red, with the outline of America in white and the words ‘I’m With Stupid.’
Finally, as reason gave way to inebriation and a crushing sense of defeat, I remember thinking how difficult it’s going to be to secede from the Union. California is on the west coast; most of the other blue states are in the northeast. We’d have a military disadvantage right from the start.
Ah, my poor country. You once stood for something. Something real and not just rhetorical, something proud and noble and not-for-profit. Yesterday, I mourned the passing of America. Today, I gird myself for the next stage of the conflict.
Switch to Plan B.
The Democrats are now leaderless and rudderless as well as clueless, having lost two consecutive presidential elections by insisting that they, too, are pro-business conservatives with a strong faith in God and values taken directly from the Bible.
I think it’s safe to say at this juncture that the Democrats are no longer a viable opposition party. Nor are they likely to become one in the near future, for a reason that should by now be obvious to all: Democrats get most of their money, and much of their voter support, from the same folks as Republicans. Like unethical narrow-minded father, like unethical narrow-minded son.
What we need in this country is a brand-new political party, one devoted to an agenda that is so crystal clear, so sharply defined vis-