When Good Vibrations Become Bad Vibrations

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‘And the final exam format will be bzzzzzt and consist of bzzzzzt questions and count for bzzzzzt of your grade. Oh, yeah, and don’t forget to bzzzzzt or you will fail the course.’
There are good vibrations and then there are bad vibrations.
According to the Beach Boys, good vibrations are the feelings that you get when you encounter someone whom you want to be around. Thus, logically speaking, bad vibrations are the feelings you get from someone whom you want to expel from the face of the planet and whose absence you will celebrate afterwards.
That someone is the kid sitting next to you in class with his cell phone vibrating in his backpack.
It’s not just the sound of the vibrating cell phone that triggers a deep, wicked rage beneath the skin of those of us who are trying to learn; it’s that it so happens that his cell phone is submerged in a combination of his spare change, bottle cap collection and assortment of other metal jingles and jangles that he’s picked up along the way.
The additional rattling of junk in his backpack amplifies the sound, and thus offensiveness, of that cell phone vibrating in the backpack.
The arguably worst part of the vibrating-phone-in-backpack scenario is that those responsible are slow to rectify an obnoxious and distracting instance of their phones vibrating in their backpacks, if they even chose to do anything about the situation at all.
If this is you, then let it be known: This is an absurd course of action. We know that it’s your cell phone blowing up in your backpack. We also know that you telling yourself, ‘Shoot, someone is calling me

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