Madonna’s ‘Confessions’ is Utterly Resistible

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For most of us, Madonna is one of the greatest artists in history. Unfortunately, ‘Confessions on a Dance Floor,’ the dance album that many fans have been waiting for simply does not live up to standards, which is quite disappointing considering it’s Madonna.
Leave it to the Material Girl to resurrect the glory days of disco music and try to market it to a younger audience, one that apparentely won’t remember her last two decades of recorded music.
Rumor has it that Madonna will collaborate with the Pet Shop Boys on her next single, ‘Sorry.’ Madonna plans to stage the video using the concept of MTV’s ‘Pimp My Ride,’ of which she reportedly is a great fan.
The symbolism of using MTV’s ‘Pimp My Ride’ as a vehicle (pun intended) for Madonna’s second ‘Confessions’ video is obvious: make over a vintage classic and resell it to the youthful masses. Madonna has returned to her MTV origins to resell a classic (herself) to a new generation. The attempt is feeble because this audience member is not buying it.
This album has 12 tracks, and all 12 are fast-paced, high-intensity tracks. Ten of the tracks run for over four minutes each, with the other two only just coming shy of four minutes. She’s packed in plenty here and the album runs just under an hour.
By now, everyone is familiar with the sound of ‘Hung Up.’
‘Hung Up’ is a highlight and a good album opener, but unfortunately, halfway through the second track, ‘Get Together,’ you feel the urge to fast-forward.
Thankfully the third track, ‘Sorry,’ makes amends. Otherwise the album could have steered into a disaster very quickly. ‘Sorry’ is poptastically innovative, sounding very much like ‘Hung Up.’
‘Future Lovers,’ the fourth track, sounds like it was created by robots in outer space. Don’t get me wrong, it sounds refreshing and new. However, it is far from a standout.
The album then makes a right-hand turn into ‘electronic-sounding Madonna’ with ‘I Love New York.’ ‘Let It Will Be’ is repetitive and pointless and ‘Forbidden Love’ is not much better.
At this point, you are hoping that the album picks up, because only two or perhaps three titles are worthy listens from the first seven tracks. Your prayers are answered with ‘Jump.’
However, at this point, everything is beginning to sound the same, and it wouldn’t have hurt to throw in a ballad or two first, you know, just to slow things down and to throw in a different sound. But, this is unfortunately not the strategy that Madonna decided to take on.
With ‘How High,’ Madonna hits her strides, the way she did with ‘Hung Up’ and ‘Sorry.’ It is a very good track, and has a slightly different feel to the rest.
‘Isaac,’ track 10, is among the weirdest on the album. This song is a pointless inclusion that sounds frighteningly like her previous stuff with the ‘MMMMmmmm’s put into it.
But thankfully, the final two tracks on the album save it from being a 1.5 out of 5. They single-handedly take it up a notch, all the way to a 2.5.
This makes two clunkers in a row for Madonna.
First, ‘American Life’ proved to be a ho-hum album from one of our least boring musical personalities. Now, ‘Confessions on a Dance Floor’ continues that streak as she returns to her dance/disco ways, but without the charm, the fun, the drama, the sexiness or any of the great melodies and rhythms that she has given us over the last two decades.
For all it claims to be, ‘Confessions’ is neither catchy nor groundbreaking. The lyrics to most of the songs are brainless and repetitive.
It’s better to buy Madonna’s early stuff. Perhaps they ought to create an album sampling her old music and then ‘techno’ it all up. She wouldn’t even have to break away from her busy schedule to show up to the recording studio.

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