Lady Anteaters, Stop Selling Yourselves Short Or You’ll Regret I

Ladies of UC Irvine, you are accomplished, intelligent and informed. You’ve all earned your place at this fine institution through hard work and persistence. You’re capable of anything you put your minds to.
But I have a bone to pick with some of you.
Girls, please, I beg of you, stop dumbing yourselves down for the opposite sex, or for whatever other reason that you do it. Frankly, it’s breaking my little heart.
I have known my fair share of dumb smart girls through the years, and I witness more and more all the time. I’ll see her during morning classes, diligently taking notes, engaging in thought-provoking dialogue with the professors and acing the exams. Then, just an hour later, while walking along Ring Road and minding my own business, I’ll hear shrieks, giggles and perhaps an ‘Ohmygod shut up!’ or two. Turning toward the ruckus, I am taken aback.
There she is, my clever acquaintance from lecture, flirting shamelessly with some bloated, egotistical frat boy.
Yes, some of the same young scholars that command respect in the classroom are completely bereft of it in the social arena and it really has to stop.
By social, I am referring to a number of different situations, the most obvious of which being school time outside of classes. Ring Road turns into a veritable catwalk at lunchtime, as many of our fine female Anteaters make their daily debut with big hair, flawless faces, expensive jeans and those annoyingly inappropriate lace-up boots in 70-degree weather. They take their posts near Cornerstone or Admin, cuddling and chattering with every other guy or girl that walks by. It’s time to be seen, heard and most importantly of all, admired. But what about lunch?
I wholeheartedly agree that school is a social zone where you learn and play with your peers, but we’re in college now, folks. I thought we left the popularity-driven, dress-to-impress mentality back in high school.
And when you leave campus grounds, it gets even worse. Don’t go to a party, carefully have one drink but pretend to be drunk, then blame all of your silly behavior on intoxication when all is said and done. It’s the oldest trick in the book, it’s rather transparent and guess what? It’s not that cute.
Furthermore, I’m happy for any of you that were blessed with a nice body or goodies, humps and lovely lady lumps, as they are more recently called. But the more they are out on display, the less exciting they become—just like anything else.
Why am I such an angry, bitter bitch, you ask? Well, it’s because I went through a similar phase of dumb smartness myself, during my sophomore year at UCI. While maintaining a high GPA and running the Features section of the New University, I wore tiny shirts and super low jeans that showcased my then-awesome abs, spent an hour flat-ironing my hair every morning and sat at the now-defunct Student Center tables at lunchtime, batting my eyelashes at all the cute boys.
Sure, it was fun and I had some meaningless, forgettable flings. But in retrospect, it was incredibly unfulfilling and I am kind of embarrassed to think of myself in that ridiculous state.
After I tired of the time and effort it took to appear fun and cute while still trying to achieve my life goals, I began to understand myself a little bit better and everything started falling into place.
Starring as myself, in comfortable, casual clothes, curly hair and a know-it-all, often unpleasant attitude, I finally found real fulfillment in love, work and life. And to all of you ladies who try harder than you should, I urge you to do the same.