Review of Movies I Haven’t Seen: Academy Award Edition

‘The Danish Poet’

Ever wonder who write ‘Beowulf’? Well, wonder no more. This Oscar nominee in the category of Best Short Film, Animated answers all your questions and more about this epic poem. In a scant 14 minutes, Torill Kove’s short delves into the life of this eighth-century rock-and-roller, giving us just a taste of his raucous lifestyle and loose morals. From his humble beginnings as a rat catcher to his stellar run as a world-class skald, Dane Ole Olaf Thorsson Olafson Twice-Born was truly the John Stamos of his time. Don’t miss a minute of this rollicking biopic (especially since it’s only 14 minutes long).

‘Binta y la Gran Idea’

What, exactly, is Binta’s ‘gran idea’? It’s simple. Household goods. Think about it: Have you ever washed your dishes without using dish soap? Now imagine you’re a responsible adult and ask yourself that same question. Your answer: ‘No, I have not.’ Exactly. There are certain household goods that no one can do without. Binta’s business plan is to buy these goods in bulk direct from the manufacturer, then sell them to friends, family and coworkers at a discount rate. Furthermore, for every ‘associate’ Binta signs up to sell these products, she receives a cut of their profits, and they in turn benefit similarly from any associates they recruit. It’s no wonder this Zeynabou Diallo vehicle is up for a Oscar for Best Short Film, Live Action. If you’d like to get in on the ground floor of Binta’s ‘gran idea,’ contact our Features editor.

‘No Time for Nuts’

A cynical psychiatrist learns an important lesson in compassion and demolitions in this contender for the Best Short Film, Animated Oscar. Anal-retentive Dr. Scrat Poopenmeyer’s unreasonable focus on his family proves an alarming distraction from his patients. As he declares early on, ‘I have no time for ‘nuts!” However, all is not well in the Poopenmeyer household. His daughter feels smothered with affection, and his wife, the frigid Mrs. Poopenmeyer, takes up a dangerous Tylenol addiction just to escape from his crushing affections. The good doctor’s heading for a head-on collision with the bus of familial intimacy. When one of his many neglected sociopathic clients plants a bomb in the doctor’s car just to get his attention, though, he realizes how misguided he’s been