The C Intern’s Secrets to Success, Survival and Other Stuff

‘To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say, well done,’ said President George W. Bush to the three-hundredth graduating class of Yale University on May 21, 2001. ‘And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.’ And so can the C interns. So, if you’re a kindergarten assistant named Michael Jackson or a veterinary aide who likes her animals served medium rare with a side of tater tots, then here are the C Intern’s Secrets to Success, Survival and Other Stuff:
1. Got Career Confusion? Tune in to the Sci-Fi Channel for inspiration.
The Sci-Fi Channel’s Survival Tip #21 is ‘Never mate with an alien, no matter how hot it is.’ But besides telling bright young interns to avoid sexually harassing E.T., Superman and Paris Hilton, the Sci-Fi Channel also explains how to make a winning impression with the workplace honcho.
The scene is an employee training session. The characters are the boss and the ‘new guys.’ And the script is:
Boss: ‘The sheep goes