A Message to the Competitive Female: Calm Down!
The female human being is one of the most feared creatures on the planet. As a woman, I would be the first to admit that this is true, and I am not ashamed of it either.
As a result, I am the type of girl who gets along better with the male population, and there’s a very good reason for that. For me, it goes way back to sixth grade, but it’s a long story so let me quickly summarize it for you: I trusted a girl, who eventually became my best friend. However, the girl I labeled as my best friend was no longer worth knowing. This story of lost friendship with a girl has happened more than once. No matter what, every friend who becomes my ‘best friend’ eventually losses my friendship. It’s a curse, but who knows, it’s probably more common than I think. I no longer label my girlfriends as best friends.
Most of the girls that I have known have always been in some sort of competition, whether it’s the smallest thing like correcting what someone says or bigger issues like pulling one’s hair because of a look toward their boyfriend.
Anyways, the competitive female existed way before I was in sixth grade, and still exists today. It’s as if a girl has to be, in one way or another, better than everyone else. I think it has to do with territorial instincts to become the head of the herd. Like wolves, females compete to be the leader of the pack.
No matter what, women today have at least one thing that they want to be the best at. Whether it is sports, academics, looking the best or being the richest, everything women do in their daily lives is a competition.
Women compete even when they don’t realize it. It’s like a natural force, which leads one to oftentimes think, ‘I’m better than you, and I’m going to prove it.’
Women are competitive with both males and females, but more so with the latter. Women tend to feel that they have to be better than every other female, because they have a mindset that says, ‘You’re either better than me, or I am the best.’ There are no grey areas; it’s black or white. Notably, most of the time, a woman thinks, ‘I’m better than you.’
As a female, I witness this competitive behavior in other women and in myself. It all starts from observation. If you hear a girl’s voice, you automatically take note and evaluate it. In your mind there are a series of involuntary questions that spring up, such as: Why is she talking like that? What is she talking about and to whom is she talking?
From there, you usually get annoyed or just ignore it. This is only a small example of where the competitive side comes from. Another example of the unconscious observations that lead to competitiveness is when a woman sees another woman and observes what she is wearing, and then concludes that she wants her outfit. Then a little jealousy emerges and the competition begins. A woman desirous of another woman’s clothes will still think she is better, because whatever the other woman is wearing probably would look better on her anyway. Then you continue walking and forget whatever you’ve seen and heard in less than a minute. I know that not all girls are like this.
When it comes to males, women do not usually feel that they have to compete with them, because men don’t think the same way as women. Thus, women get along better with guys than with girls. However, if there is some type of contest involved against men, women will go ‘breasts out.’ Once we hear ‘boys versus girls,’ it’s on, and we’re ready to let the blood spill because we will fight until the world ends. Think of the movie ‘300,’ but instead of Spartans in cloths, think of women in cute matching outfits.
Competition with males is like proving a point and we women always like to be right. When it comes to boys versus girls, girls will join forces and this is where my main point begins.
Imagine the power women in the world could potentially have if they directed their competitiveness toward something besides proving themselves to be the best woman. This isn’t some kind of feminist talk here; this is just one perspective.
If we can just truly accept others without viewing matters as a fight for power, then maybe we can all feel better about ourselves and be better people, as well.
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