A Not So Hypothetical Situation: The FB Dilemma
I’m going to veer a bit off course from my previous columns because I need to get something off my chest. It’s been going on for a while, this whole sleeping together with no strings attached thing. I’m not going to lie. I admire people who can do it, although I know few who can successfully refrain from getting emotionally involved. It’s more commonly known as friends with benefits. Let’s talk.
Here’s a hypothetical situation (kind of): guy meets girl, guy asks girl out. Girl accepts and they have a great time. Guy and girl go back to guy’s house, they hang out. Girl tells guy she doesn’t want to rush into anything yet, and won’t go too far outside of a relationship. Guy says ok. A few months later, girl reminds guy of this, to which guy replies, “Does that mean you won’t sleep with me?” Uh…
Hmm… I wonder. Seriously? Either said guy wasn’t listening, said guy was stupid or said guy thought he’d eventually sway said girl to change her mind. Either way, it is safe to say that said guy was pretty much a moron because no matter how you look at it, said guy is not worth said girl’s time.
The way I see it, this guy is of a particular breed, and he comes with a full-on disguise, which consists of charm that just won’t quit, good looks and a remarkable amount of patience. That is, until his patience runs out.
Now my question is this: If you’re merely looking for friends with benefits, are you courteous enough to tell the person up front? Or do you wait it out and lead her on, hoping and praying that she’ll give you what you want?
It is quite a conundrum really. Personally, I don’t look down on this whole FB (friends with benefits) thing (as people have come to call it, or at least my best friend does) in the least. I mean, it’s only normal for hormones to take over sometimes. We seem to be at a point in our lives where relationships are just not acceptable, and convenience is the preferred idea. And while I am not a fan of it, many people are. Ok, cool. That’s all fine and well.
I do, however, think that this breed of moron needs to be watched closely because they’re tricky little bastards. And they definitely know their stuff. This is a real pain in the ass because it makes the search for a good one all the more difficult, which is really lame. Isn’t it hard enough already? Not to mention the fact that we need to be even more aware of these types of guys and, well, life just gets a bit tougher.
So I guess my advice goes something like this: If you have even the slightest feeling that someone’s a creeper, either put that fabulous little guard up or just be blunt. For instance, you could ask, “Are you just looking for sex?” You might be surprised with the answer. I guess if this “hypothetical” girl did that, she would have saved herself a whole lot of time.
Oh, I forgot to finish the hypothetical story (which by now you probably figured out is not hypothetical at all). After the girl once again denied said guy what he wanted, he replied, “I need sex. I want sex. Next time you’re with a guy, I’d be clearer about what you will and will not do. I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” Apparently, he needed things literally spelled out for him, since just saying it clearly wasn’t obvious enough. And, with a quick “See yah,” he was out of there.
Yep, this one was a real winner. Smart too.