Outtakes With UCI’s Road Ragers

Umar Hussain and Tyler Davis of the New University got a chance to sit down with UC Irvine road-roommates Ollie Linton and Dillon Bell. Not ony are they studly ball players, they’re talented skit actors as well. They make up two of the three leaders of “The Company,” a famous Anteater pre-game comedic ritual. In addition to being a pair of the best outfielders in the Big West, they’re two of the funniest and most candid athletes in collegiate sports.
This is a New U first, and this segment is called “Outtakes.”

Umar: Do you have any superstitions?
Bell: I’ll tell you one thing. [Ollie] can’t have our room cleaned throughout the whole weekend. No maids cannot come in there. The room is always a mess on the road.
Tyler: If I had to put a bet on a 40 yard-dash race amongst you and the rest of the Big West, am I taking you or the field?
Linton: (confused) The field?
Bell: Not the [baseball] field, dude!
Linton: Oh, I was about to say, “What are there, sand traps or something?”… You’re taking me, man.
Bell: I’m taking me. … Nah, just kidding, I’m taking Ollie.

Tyler: Ollie, who is the buffest guy on the team?
Bell: You don’t have to answer that, son.
Linton: I am going to say Chris Lopez.
Bell: Awwww…
Linton: He did 400 pushups yesterday before going to the beach.
Tyler: Trying to get a nice chest bump?
Linton: Oh yeah.

Umar: Who is the best pitcher on the team?
[Scott Gorgen walks in]
Tyler: Is it this guy?
Bell: No, not him. He’s zero.

Umar: Biggest guilty pleasure song.
Bell: Give me an example.
Tyler: Like “Damaged” by Danity Kane.
Bell: Oh that’s easy, “Bleeding Love” by Leona Lewis. I am all about that. I love it.
Linton: (With no hesitation) Hannah Montana—”See You Again.”
Tyler: We asked Coach Pat Shine last week if you could be a home run hitter if you wanted to. Guess what he said.
Linton: Wasn’t that in the paper last week?
Tyler: Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t.
Linton: He said I would need to change my swing, but I’m not a home-run hitter.
Tyler: You know Ichiro Suzuki could hit 40 home runs if he wanted to. I think you’re like that.
Linton: I try sometimes. When I’m feeling a little frisky.
Tyler: Oh yeah?
Linton: It just depends on how I feel up at the plate.
Umar: Did you want to hit one in New Mexico? You saw Dillon hit like 25 (actually 3).
Linton: Yeah, this guy started catching up to me.
Bell: That’s why they call me “Big Daddy.”
Linton: We used to bet Island’s dinners on who would hit the most home runs during batting practice.
Tyler: So how many were you guys hitting?
Linton: Eh, sometimes we didn’t hit any.
Bell: We don’t play in the best ballpark for that kind of thing.
Tyler: Agreed. But you know Ollie, when you hit home runs their not cheap shots—they’re way out of here.
Umar: Yeah, people compare you to Juan Pierre? No way. You’ve got more pop than Juan.
Linton: With an aluminum bat—yes.
Tyler: What’s the most bizarre moment either of you have had with a fan?
Linton: Just a bunch of little kids asking you to sign their arms or stuff like that.
Tyler: Have you ever done it?
Linton: Oh yeah. I’ve done it.
Tyler: Have they ever asked you to write any weird messages?
Linton: Yeah, not on their body parts though.
Tyler: Has a girl ever asked you for one?
Linton: Dillon gets the girls, I get the little boys.

Umar: So a kid brought his leg up and asked you to sign it?
Linton: Mhmm, all his friends brought stuff to sign. He had nothing, and he looked sad. Then he was like, “Could you sign my leg?” and I said, “Sure.”

Tyler: Alright Ollie, Tyler Hoechlin has a leg up on you in the acting department, but you are the leader of the most prestigious improv group in perhaps all of college baseball history. Is acting in your career after you retire?
Linton: Yeah. When I’m 27, I am going to have my own show on the Disney Channel.
Umar: What will it be about?
Linton: It’s going to be about me messing around.
Umar: Is Miley going to be on the show?
Linton: For sure.
Tyler: Ollie, you’re talking about starting this show at 27. Are you anticipating early retirement from your baseball career?
Linton: No, I just know that when I’m 27, I’ll still look like I’m 16. My show will end when I’m about 35.

Tyler: Someone asked me why Ollie Linton was such a good base stealer, do you know what I told them?
Linton: No.
Tyler: I told them it was a stupid question. He runs to second base faster than the catcher throws it there!
Umar: What should he have told them?
Linton: That’s beautiful. That works.
Umar: Ollie, you room with Chris Lopez, the alleged buffest guy on the team. He is also the leader of “The Company” along with you two. Can you guys give us some dirt on him?
Tyler: Some dirt we can print.
Bell: He is having relationship troubles right now.
Tyler: Does he vent to you guys?
Linton and Bell: Oh, all the time!
Bell: That’s seriously what “The Company” has been about for the past couple weeks.
Linton: We want to have him stand on the mound for five minutes, on senior day, and for you guys to print a picture in the New U of him with it saying, “C-Lo wants to get back with his girlfriend,” and she shows up within the next five minutes and they get back together. You know, like from the movie “Never Been Kissed?”
Umar: Get C-Lo on the mound. We will get that picture. Will print it as a feature photo.

Tyler: Do you guys console him, or let him take it out on the mound?
Bell: We like to give him relationship tips.
Tyler: Yeah? Are you guys pretty knowledgeable?
Bell: You could say so.
Linton: He struggles.
Bell: His heart is torn right now.
Linton: His heart is “Damaged” [in reference to Danity Kane’s hit single of course].
Tyler: Ollie, your pop-culture knowledge is so good.
Umar: It’s such a good song.

Tyler: Give C-Lo’s situation a baseball analogy.
Bell: He is trying to get on the green.
Tyler: Is his pitch count a little high, perhaps?
Bell: He’s looking for a new Friday starter.

Umar: Ollie, What’s the weirdest thought you have ever had in the outfield?
Linton: I don’t know. A lot of the times I just sing to myself.
Tyler: What kind of songs?
Linton: “Damaged.”
Tyler: Swear to God?
Linton: Uh yeah, I actually sing that sometimes. I also sing Enrique Iglesias’s “Do You Know.”
Tyler: You guys have a lot of weird superstitions? What is the weirdest one?
Bell: Well, I just realized this. Ollie can’t touch the bases before the game and we run base running drills before every game! We’re all tapping the bases, and he’s just standing next to them.
Tyler: Has a teacher ever asked you for an autograph?
Linton: No, because in the classroom I go by Winston, my alias.
Tyler: Do you do that because you have already achieved celebrity status?
Linton: No, sometimes I’ll tell them I am missing class and then they ask why. Then they’ll be like “Oh, you’re that guy.”

Umar: Favorite chick flicks?
Bell: Good question. I am all about “The Notebook.”
Linton: I’m into like musicals and showtoons. Those aren’t chick flicks, right?
Umar: Eh, they’re equally as girly.
Linton: Musicals aren’t girly.
Umar: Debatable.
Tyler: Does anyone do Coach Gillespie impressions in “The Company?”
Bell: Coach has actually been in a few skits.
Linton: He’s actually really funny, and picks on some of the guys.
Bell: I’ve impersonated coach a few times, and we’ve had a few others. C-Lo has too.
Linton: The thing with C-Lo, though, is that he has the same voice for every impression.
Bell: We were at Kansas State, and we decided to take a camera to the campus and interview some girls.
Linton: We’d ask them questions like “What is there to do here tonight?”
Bell: And C-Lo would get really camera shy, and run out of questions when it was his turn.
Linton: He’ll like point at an empty water bottle and ask a question like “What is this bottle all about?”

Tyler: Apparently Francis Larson is the smartest Anteater.
Umar: And vegetarian.
Bell: And crazy.
Tyler: Can you elaborate?
Bell: We recently found out he talks to himself.
Linton: A lot.
Tyler: How did you discover this?
Bell: His roommates.
Linton: Yeah one of them told us that they would be upstairs and hear Francis yelling. They would go down, and no one’s down there. Just him and the TV.
Bell: They said he was watching TV and this Ironman commercial came on and he started singing, “I am “Ironman” in a melodic voice, and then he immediately said, ‘Shut the [bleep] up!”
Bell: He’s a crazy man, and really smart.
Linton: I think his brain works faster than others. You think he’s crazy, but he’s really just smart.

Umar: Would you say that the level of “The Company” has risen with the acquisition of Tyler Hoechlin?
Linton: Uh, no. We did so much last year. It’s tough making new material, but we are doing it.
Tyler: Ever thought about a tattoo?
Bell: I was thinking maybe tiger claw marks across my shoulder and chest.
Umar: Why not the Anteater claw marks?
Linton: Yeah, with “Zot” written underneath!