Thumbs down: Steve Doocy. With lively gesticulations, Fox & Friends co-anchor Steve Doocy defended Sarah Palin’s national security experience by pointing out Alaska’s proximity to Russia. Doocy’s moment of Zen is reminiscent of Cindy McCain telling audiences on ABC News that Alaska is the closest part of the U.S. to Russia. There you have it, for all who weren’t aware: Proximity is the equivalent of experience. That’s why Republicans like Doocy and McCain believe people in Colorado are all astronauts, since the state has such a high altitude and is the closest to the moon.
Thumbs up: The New York Mets. If you ever commit an astronomical blunder, there are always people or organizations you can turn to for relief because you’re certain they have botched something worse, in one way or another. The Mets, who can’t seem to do anything right, provide that type of relief daily to millions of New Yorkers. This time, the Mets have planned to demolish Shea Stadium around the same time that the historic Yankee Stadium will be destroyed. As a consequence, they have received almost zero air time for what should be a historical moment for any sports organization. So don’t sulk at your problems, feel blessed that you’re not as depressing as the lovable Mets.
Thumbs down: Porn Freebies. The porn industry recently held a conference to address growing concerns over porn piracy and diminishing sales. One of the proposals to curb piracy was to pair pirate-able material (DVDs) with non-electronic freebies (t-shits). The industry hopes that shoppers who are eager for specialized porn t-shirts will prop up the sales of DVDs and rentals that lagged 15-25 percent last year. However, these porn experts assume that their porn-loving public would love to flaunt their hobby on a lewd t-shirt. What they forget is that pornsters are secretive and like to watch porn behind the safety of a closed door. So please save the trouble and only make enough t-shirts to hand out to the experts at porn conferences.