Thumbs Up to the 2008 Barack Obama Presidential Campaign: With the count down to Election Day reaching its final hours, the campaign dispatched Al Gore to address a real inconvenient truth for the Democratic Party—Florida is still a swing state. Speaking in the sunshine state’s Coconut Creek, Gore urged Floridians to get out and make a change by voting for Obama. It may be eight years late, but the Democratic Party may pick up Florida’s electoral votes after all.
Thumbs Up to the 2008 John McCain Presidential Campaign: The Grand Old Party has released its heavy hitters in the buildup to Election Day. Honestly, with mugs like Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, it’s surprising that charisma and the Republican Party can even be said in the same sentence. However, with former blockbuster action star Arnold Schwarzenegger campaigning for McCain, the GOP looks to go out of the 2008 presidential race kicking and screaming. Utilizing the trademark manliness that brought him into the chiseled hearts of men everywhere, Schwarzenegger referred to Obama by saying, “We’re going to make him do some squats, and then we’re going to give him some biceps curls to beef up those scrawny little arms. But if you only could do something about putting some meat on his ideas.” Hey, he might be leaving California without a paddle, but the GOP knows a good publicity tool when they see one.
Thumbs Up to UC Davis experts: Researchers at UC Irvine’s sister school recently launched a birth control program to curb the number of fox squirrels on the campus, which seemed to balloon to 400 overnight. By giving some members of the new squirrel population hormone shots, faculty experts and student workers are hoping to keep the birthrate of the animals manageable. And you thought the bunnies at UCI were bad.
Thumbs Down to Toshio Tamogami, the Chief of Staff of Japan’s Air Self-Defense Force: In a recent essay published by Tamogami, he claimed that Japan was forced into World War II by the United States and attempted to legitimize the country’s actions in China by claiming that they were based on pre-existing treaties. Really? Even the Nazi-esque experiments conducted by Unit 731? Seriously, just take five seconds to do an Internet search of Unit 731 and you’ll quickly see why Mr. Tamogami was fired. Better yet, rent the movie “Men Behind the Sun.”
Thumbs Down to the North Korean Military: Since being removed from America’s terrorism blacklist, the North Korean military has beefed up its rhetoric toward South Korea by declaring, “The puppet authorities had better bear in mind that the advanced preemptive strike of our own style will reduce everything opposed to the nation and reunification to debris, not just setting them on fire, and it will turn out to be a just war of strike to build an independent reunified state on it.” Yes, because as civil war has taught us time and time again, the best way to unite a country is by turning half of it into flaming debris.