“Bride Wars” Loses the Battle

Courtesy of 20th Century Fox

Courtesy of 20th Century Fox
Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway (above) fail to deliver in “Bride Wars,” a victim of post-Oscar mediocrity.

Films released in January are not expected to be Oscars. What is expected of the new year is basically new trash, so make sure you keep your expectations low when going into “Bride Wars.” However, even with those lowly standards, “Bride Wars” is just an absolute failure. It is downright bad.
The comedy looked like it would be a little more promising than most of the other wedding films with two star actresses, Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway, who have had big success with other light comedy roles. However, the plot in “Bride Wars” proved to be a complete disaster.
Liv (Hudson) is a hard-working, outspoken lawyer, while Emma (Hathaway) is a relatively unassuming teacher who pleases everyone. Neither acted poorly; in fact, the only major thing that brought this film so far down is the moronic screenplay. The plot and screenplay are downright atrocious, making “Bride Wars” a dismal failure.
Liv and Emma have been friends since childhood and despite their differences in personality, the two friends have one thing in common: They both want to be married in June at the Plaza Hotel. Lo and behold, they both get engaged. There is hugging, there is kissing and there is a lot of screaming.
Then it all stops when an assistant screws up and they set their wedding on the same date at the Plaza Hotel. Neither Liv nor Emma want to have a double wedding. Neither want to change dates because the next June date is in three years. With neither bride giving in, Liv and Emma turn into Bridezillas, and become set on destroying each other’s weddings. That’s when all hell breaks loose.
“Bride Wars” turns into an ugly slapstick humor that, to put it simply, is not funny. The closest thing to it would be something out of Lindsay Lohan’s “Parent Trap,” but much worse. Emma sneaks into Liv’s salon appointment and turns her hair blue. Liv cooks Emma at a tanning session so that she is burned orange. That’s about as funny as it gets.
To top everything off, the film ends with the same message they portray through the entire film: Women are self-centered, spoiled brats who are infatuated with materialistic items and a big, flowery, fluffy wedding, with men just there to buy Tiffany boxes and smile. One would expect, at the very least, a resolution in the character flaws that both Liv and Emma possess. However, “Bride Wars” ends with the women being as pompous and self-absorbed as ever.
The worst part about the film is its predictability; the plot could be revealed from the trailer and the title alone. It’s a given that there will be pranks. It is obvious that there is going to be a crack in friendship. It is inevitable that there will be a happy ending and friendship will triumph. Ultimately, “Bride Wars” has nothing to offer but complete disappointment.