Drawn and Quoted

The Doctor is In: Barack Obama’s new pick for Surgeon General, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, is a practicing neurosurgeon as well as a correspondent for CNN. Impressive, but it gets better. According to People magazine, he is also one of the sexiest men alive. In 2003, the magazine asked, “How sexy is he? So sexy that he makes you forget he’s reporting on the flu, SARS or pesticide levels in farmed salmon.” This may present a problem for the man who will be responsible for getting Americans to remember these things. Other contenders included Dr. House, Dr. Cox and Dr. McDreamy.
Presidential Daughter Watch: “That’s Sasha back there with a backpack on.” Really? Thanks. MSNBC, ABC, Fox and other news organizations sink to yet a new low, breathlessly reporting the Obama daughters’ first day in school at Sidwell Friends School. There is no doubt that they’re cute kids, but since when are a fifth and second-grader’s lunch the stuff of national importance? As Jon Stewart points out, there is something wrong when, as the “economy continues to struggle and the Mideast continues to burn,” the biggest story of the day is Sasha’s “ugly doll.” By the way, it was tomato basil soup and zucchini bread.
Save the Sea Kittens: Sometimes it’s best to save yourself an aneurysm by not thinking too hard about the reasoning behind PETA’s actions. This week the animal rights activist group launched a new campaign to stop the consumption of fish by calling fish sea-kittens. The Web site explains, “People don’t seem to like fish. They’re slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads — which is weird, to say the least … [so] we’re going to start by retiring the old name for good. [It’s] time for a serious image makeover … who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?” Wow … just wow.
Another Informative Message from the White House: It’s almost time for Bush to vacate the White House and head back to long days in a rocking chair in Crawford. In a last-ditch attempt to create a legacy for the unpopular president, the Bush White House released a 41 page-long PDF file entitled, “100 Things Americans May Not Know About the Bush Administration Record.” Here’s a sample: “strengthened America’s interests and alliances abroad,” “took unparalleled action to advance cooperative conservation and protect the environment,” “helped defuse regional conflicts” and “set a brighter course for America’s future.” It’s good to know that the President will not be joining the ranks of millions of Americans who have lost their jobs during his two terms. Instead, he will get to work as a fiction writer.