Thumbs Up to Illinois: After a unanimous vote against him, (former) Gov. Blagojevich was impeached after being charged with trying to sell former Sen. (now President) Barack Obama’s seat. Although claiming to be the target of some sort of political vendetta, refusing to testify under oath never makes you look too good. You have to hand it to the guy for refusing to resign, as it’s a bold attempt to stand behind his name … or it’s the desperate attempt of someone trying not to let the last shreds of their dignity slip away — but it’s most likely the former.
Thumbs Down to Neo-Nazis: A Neo-Nazi group from Kansas has hopped into the state’s “Adopt-A-Highway” program to help clean up America by “starting in their own town.” The group is taking advantage of a ruling won by the Ku Klux Klan stating a group can’t be discriminated against due to its political beliefs. It’s ironic that the country where Nazism started had it outright banned, and the country that was decisive in the Nazi’s defeat has their heirs picking up trash on the freeways to promote their cause. But really, who’d even want to be associated with that group? They’re part of the video game big three: Aliens, robots and Nazis — groups that always work as acceptable antagonists because no one has any remorse for brutally murdering them. A wise man once said, “Nazis … I hate those guys.” That wise man was Indiana Jones … who is also Han Solo (who fought Space Nazis). Just let that all sink in.
Thumbs Up to the U.S. Navy: Tired of only being able to use humans to fight for our country, the Navy is looking into training and deploying dolphins and sea lions to detect underwater terrorists. The sea creatures would work in conjunction with human patrol teams to identify and “tag” potential security threats around naval bases, submarines and other critical locations. It seems only natural that the only other mammal that has sex for pleasure would be the first to spearhead the eventual desegregation of our obvious human-biased military. PETA must be thrilled. I, for one, welcome the inclusion of our water-based mammal brothers into the fight against terrorists. That is, if I can get some sharks with friggin’ laser beams attached to their heads.
Thumbs Down to House Republicans: While the president’s economic stimulus plan was passed in the House, it did so with the support of zero Republicans. Not one. Good to see Obama’s moves for more bi-partisanship were completely ignored. One can only laugh at how Republicans fought so hard to defend Bush, but are now downright hoping Obama will fail. Like always, the conservatives of this country are putting their personal problems above the problems of the country as a whole. Only time will tell how successful this economic package will be, but you’d think with how bad things are (and how bad they’ve been), more people would be hoping for success rather than failure. And if anyone mentions Ron Paul’s name or the gold standard, remember that he never had nor ever will have a chance of becoming president. And that’s something we can all be thankful for.