OK guys, prepare yourselves. I have a confession to make. I’ve been keeping it a secret long enough and I think it’s time for me to come clean: I didn’t watch this year’s Academy Awards.
I’ll give you a minute for your breathing to return to normal and to climb back onto whatever you happened to be sitting on. It’s not that I didn’t want to — I love red carpets and shiny things and the never-ending Branistonlina Triangle, but irregular verbs don’t conjugate themselves.
That being said, I was really excited to read later that “Milk” took home a few awards. The movie focuses on the later years of gay rights activist Harvey Milk, and it is no easy story to tell. The presence of “Milk” as a top award contender obviously made for more widely watched gayness than Academy Awards viewers were probably used to, but I’m thinking it’s about time.
So imagine my surprise when I discovered that “Mouth Most In Need of Duct-Taping” contender Sean Hannity made a mess on national television by decreeing that gays are bad for your children. As if Fox wasn’t my least favorite network already, the other night Hannity posed the following question to his fellow panelists regarding the amount of man-on-man kissing that occurred during the Oscars:
“[My wife] said, ‘you know, they keep showing the scenes of men kissing, and I’m thinking do we have to expose our children to more and more sex, more and more violence, you know, more and more controversy? Does that bother you at all?'”
Now good ol’ Hannity’s been known to say some ridiculous things in his day, but I think this one takes the cake. After retrieving the remote that I had thrown at the screen, I decided to take the high road and not mention the fact that there were three gay kisses and 14 straight kisses displayed during the Academy Awards program. Nor would I dare mention the fact that the Fox network that Hannity holds so dear is responsible for some of the most violent programs on the air. And last but not least, there’s no need to mention the fact that Hannity owns a Match.com-esque dating Web site called, get ready, “Hannidate,” where conservative-leaning straights and gays can find their perfect right-wing matches. So you’ll make money off the gays but then condemn them for a few harmless kisses?
After that last comment, I didn’t think that Hannity could possibly say anything more absurd. He quickly proved me wrong with his next comment, however, saying that “we’re robbing kids of their childhood” with programs containing overtly sexual content, again referring specifically to the Oscars.
Now, I don’t know about you guys, but the whole toting children around as a reason why gays shouldn’t get married or kiss in public is starting to get a bit archaic. Show me the proof of children being checked into hospitals, coughing and wheezing because they’ve been exposed to “the gay.” That, or I would love to hear a smartly articulated argument explaining to me how gay kissing is different than straight kissing, and what’s more, how gay kissing is worse for children to see than testosterone-ridden shows like “24” or any of Fox’s other primetime shows.
I hate to break it to you, Hannity, but I think it’s time that you caught up with the rest of the entertainment industry, and for your own sake, stop making a fool of yourself on TV. Your children are watching.