Guy 1: Dude, it must hurt to get a vasectomy.
Guy 2: Yeah, seriously. Hey, what’s the opposite of that called?
Guy 1: Getting your tubes tied?
Guy 2: No, the formal name.
Guy 3: A vagectomy.
— Student Health Center
Overheard by: Eman Ventura
Girl 1: Hey, what’s that movie called with that little green man and those colored flashlight thingies?
Girl 2: Oh … uh … doesn’t it start with ‘star,’ or something?
Girl 1: Oh, yeah! ‘Star Trek,’ right?
— Outside Humanities Hall
Overheard by: Karen Gonzalez
Girl 1: I just broke up with my boyfriend.
Girl 2: Since when did you get a boyfriend?
Girl 1: I don’t even know myself. I can’t even keep up.
— vdcn shuttle
Overheard by: milan johnson
“Remember me?! I’m not fat anymore!”
— student center
Overheard by: Keyshia dizon