Intimate Inquiries

Dear Sandy,

My boyfriend has always been pretty kinky and I am usually able to keep up with him pretty well. For the past few weeks, though, he has been asking if he can cum on my face. Personally, I think it’s a little bit degrading, but I’ve been thinking about it because he really wants to do it. In trying to convince me, he said it’s good for my skin — I’ve heard that before, but is it really true? Should I test this out?

Signed,
Jizzy

Dear Jizzy,

The idea that semen is good for your skin has some truth to it but, for the most part, it’s just a myth. Semen contains protein which can have a tightening effect on your skin which can be good for wrinkles, but after you wash it away it’s pretty much back to the way it was.

Vice Magazine actually held a trial pitting store-bought facial moisturizer against semen. They found that, in some instances, it was a little better than the moisturizer, but all other reports found that there was no change in their skin from using semen.

Whatever health benefits it does offer are negligible so don’t use that as a basis for doing it. If you want to test it out, though, you should just go for it — it really can’t hurt you.

That said, if you’re feeling degraded by anything that you and your boyfriend are doing, you should let him know. Your level of comfort is definitely higher on the list, so if you don’t want to do something, he’s just going to have to find another way to get his rocks off.
Sandy

Sandy,

Recently I decided that I wasn’t finding the kind of guy I was interested in on campus, so I have turned to dating Web sites. While I don’t know if this will lead to any actual relationships, it’s something that I want to try and at least see what’s out there. My problem is trying to express this to my friends and family. I know my parents would probably freak if they knew I was talking to people I don’t know online.

I understand the dangers that can arise from soliciting too much information online and therefore do not give out any personal information or any information that could be linked back to my personal life. In a way, I almost find Internet dating safer than, in person dating, because I have a choice to ignore someone or to just walk away from the computer but that’s a personal opinion.

What I want to know is how should I broach this subject with my friends and family? How do I explain to them that I am not weird for wanting to look for guys that are more specific to what I am looking for? I would also want to let them know what I am doing in the inevitability that I were to find someone that I am interested in. I’m not sure how to get around the stigma of online dating. I also find it difficult to answer the question when they ask me if I’ve found any boys at school, I don’t want to lie but I also don’t know how they would take me blurting out about my dating Web site profile.

How should I go about telling them?

Sincerely,
Looking for Love Online

Dear LLO,

In recent years, online dating has enjoyed something of a “makeover”. Most big-name companies gear their networks toward busy professionals who are looking for a serious relationship but just don’t have time to hit the bars and socialize. As such, online dating has been able to shed its old image and emerge as a norm for many people.

When you approach your family about this, let them know that you’re just testing the waters and that you’re taking your online safety seriously.

You’re right to not share a lot of personal information over the Internet, but by sticking to the bigger-named dating sites like eHarmony and Match.com, you’ll get an added layer of protection in the form of an in-depth screening process.

These businesses have developed a good reputation by offering people safety online. Using things like Craigslist personals eliminates that safety so make sure that you’re considering that when choosing a dating Web site.

Your safety is likely your family’s main concern, so make sure to drive home that you know what you’re doing here.

Make note of the fact that eHarmony has over 20 million registered users — there are countless numbers of people who are in your same position and online dating is just another method of finding someone you can relate to.

Finally, you shouldn’t feel pressured to find a relationship just because your parents are bugging you about it. They’re just asking because they care about you and want to
know what’s new in your life so don’t beat yourself up over it — when the time is right, you’ll find someone!

Sandy