Intimate Inquiries

Good evening, Sandy!

Nice to meet you!

Thank you for your sincere service for college students regarding dating and relationship!

My name is Pilgrim. As it is shown in my name, I am a Christian, who pursues the meaning of life in God.

As a consequence, many parts of my life are governed by biblical principles. During my lifetime, I decided to dedicate long time of my life like the priest.

I could dedicate my teenage to holiness. When I turned to 20’s, I broke up that dedication for I figured out that even Bible encourages man to build up family with woman, and socially it would be difficult to maintain life alone because the human being is social animal as you know.

From my teenage, I have been trained to get rid of lustful mind from my brain for God. I have been struggling not to fall into temptation.

I conduct this letter in order to ask your advice and ask for help to get the opportunity to initiate a human relationship with a girl. Can a person do this without conflicting with their beliefs? Do you know anyone who has gone through this struggle?


Dear Pilgrim,

Watch Twilight.


Dear Sandy,

My friends and I have been trying to pin down what the best types of lube to use are because we all really differ. Most of the time we don’t even use it but we’ve been trying the ones that give a warming sensation but I actually have pretty sensitive skin and have had a bad reaction to almost all the lubes I’ve tried. Are there some lubes that are better than others? Am I just not meant to use them?

Lost in lube land

Dear Lost,

There are tons of different types of lube and, yes, some are most definitely better than others.

Outside of lubricants, you might want to consider whether it’s the condom that’s causing the problem. A number of women are actually allergic to latex so take a test run without the lube in order to determine whether that might be your problem.

One type of lube that you’ll generally want to avoid are oil-based lubricants like Vaseline and lotion. They can break down latex, which is bad news if you’re relying on condoms as your contraceptive of choice. Oil-based lubricants can also leave behind a residue that can open the door to infection.

Water-based lubes are the most common and are generally your best bet for an irritation-free session. They’re safe to use with latex, so you don’t have to worry about breaking down the baby-barrier.

An issue with this type of lubricant is that it tends to dry out fairly quickly so you may have to get used to reapplying. Also, if you’re sensitive on all fronts, look out for water-based lubes that contain glycerin which can cause yeast infections in some women.

Another popular lubricant is the silicone-based category. They’ve got all the same benefits as water-based lube in that they won’t wear down your latex, with the added benefit of lasting longer and being able to be used in the water so if it’s Jacuzzi-based escapades you’re after, stick with silicone.

As it’s a bit more durable, this lubricant requires both soap and water to wash off so be prepared for a little bit more effort in the removal process. If you’re using sex toys, make sure that the toys themselves are not made out of silicone as this lubricant can wear them down.

In each category of lubricant, there’s a huge variety. Making sure to stay within the use guidelines, you can test out just about anything from warming lubricant for increased sensation and flavored lube for an oral adventure.

Again, if you’re super sensitive, just look out for attributes that have the potential for irritation. Spermicidal lubes are probably at the top of the list for irritation potential so make sure to find out whether your body will tolerate it before using it during intercourse.

You can avoid any nasty surprises is to test out your lubricant of choice a day beforehand. Place a small amount on your inner-arm or inner-thigh and wait at least ten minutes to see whether you may have had an allergic reaction to it.

If you have a reaction, you should rinse it off (with both soap and water if it’s not water-based) and make sure to note the ingredients before you toss it. If you find that you’re having problems with almost all the lubricants that you’ve been trying, you should consult your doctor in order to see how you can prevent the reactions.


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