Recently my girlfriend has asked to spend less time together. She wants to hang out and talk on the phone less. I know she’s busy — especially since she’s graduating in June — but this seems kind of strange. It totally took me by surprise.
I’m not really sure what to think about this. It sounds like she wants to break up, but when we do hang out, it is completely normal and we hang out and talk for hours. She seems happy, but I don’t really get why she would want to spend less time together. Do you think she is losing interest or she wants to break up with me?
-In the Dark
The fact that your girlfriend told you that she wants to spend less time together shows that she doesn’t appear to have a problem telling you how she feels. If she was unhappy, it seems that she wouldn’t really have a problem telling you. However, she may have conflicted feelings about the relationship. If she doesn’t know how happy she is, she may be using this as a way of deciphering her own feelings.
Also, she may be afraid of hurting your feelings by being completely honest with you. She has definitely left you in the dark here, because she hasn’t explained her decisions well.
The two of you need to communicate honestly about why she wants to spend less time together, because a general rule of thumb is that when your significant other wants to see less of you, it’s not a good sign.
She might just be truly busy and overwhelmed with other things in her life, especially if she’s graduating in a few weeks. She could also have family problems that she is not comfortable disclosing with you. You need to ask her about the situation; it might be just what she needs. Tell her that you feel blindsided by her actions and that you would like an honest explanation. You can only hope that she’ll reciprocate your honest communication.
I want to engage in a sexual practice called “skiing.” I’ve done it before with an ex-boyfriend, and I really enjoyed it. It’s something not many people have heard of, and includes grabbing two guys’ “poles” and pleasuring them. It feels empowering. I really enjoy seeing the guys get off, but my boyfriend is really freaked out about it and not open to it at all. How can I try to explain why I enjoy it to him and get him to understand?
Dear Ski Bunny,
First of all you need to find out why he’s so freaked out about it. It may be the fact that there is another guy there. It may also be that he doesn’t like the idea of someone else being in the bedroom with the two of you, period. If this is the case, you’re going to have a hard time convincing him to do this. If it’s something he isn’t comfortable with, you have to respect his wishes. In order to be sexually compatible, you have to listen and empathize with one another with an open mind. Good luck!
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