Rebecca Says Goodbye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey all, Rebecca here. As of this week, I will be no longer working for the New University. No, it’s not because of the Soundgarden debacle. It’s not because I’m gay as hell. It’s not because of my wild, irreverent attitude.
No, it’s none of those things! It’s because I’m graduating. So now I leave, of my own volition, a paper that has treated me fairly well.
I’m leaving the college radio station, KUCI 88.9 FM (“we have a radio station?”).
I’m leaving the English department with an insane appreciation of 19th century satire and a fairly successful used book racket on Amazon.com.
I’m leaving the Drama department, its talented faculty, and its constant eerie echoes of musical theater and Disney ballads.
I’m leaving the university and all its fantastic programs, with two pieces of paper that I will fold up and carry around in my wallet and show to people as if they were my children.
I’ll miss the aroma of Korean barbeque taking over Ring Road; Acrobatics Everyday shows steaming up trailers; 35mm films flickering across the screen in HIB 100; protests and speeches at the flagpoles persisting through complacency.
I’ll miss Langson Library – it’s a really great resource, you guys. It’s got a lot of books. Like, a lot. And bright plush couches for napping. Where will I read and nap now? My couch? Pfft.
I’ll miss having the occasional lunch in Aldrich Park, moving around when it got too warm in the sun or too cold in the shade, and enjoying nature in all its man-made plenitude.
I won’t miss the Irvine Company. It’s gonna rule when I move to a city that isn’t entirely owned by one corporation. I’ll have multiple corporations competing over my consumer loyalty, thank you very much.
Nor will I miss “the parking situation,” as it is often referred to. If I end up with a million dollars and UCI wants a contribution from this alumnus, they’ll get it only on the condition that no one has to pay obscene fees for arcane parking rules. This is by far the biggest injustice that I’ve encountered in the past four years.
I’m being tongue in cheek, but seriously, what the hell is up with the parking? That’s all I want to know. Good God, fix the parking situation. Good thing I was in a car crash last summer.
As far as the thing that I’ll miss the most about the New University? I’ll always remember driving out to LA for education protests with Brandon Wong and Mengfei Chen. Civil unrest and overpriced weiners at the Wurstkuche — I honestly can’t think of a better way to spend a Thursday night.