REBECCA’S FINAL FINITE PLAYLIST

Hey all, Rebecca here. Again.

And for the last time! Yes, in case you haven’t read the farewell page, I am graduating! So are many other people. So here’s a list of graduation songs for you to “purchase” and listen to as you speed off into the sunset.

Mariah Carey “Fantasy (Remix)”

This song serves two purposes here. Sure, it’s a cool jam for your graduation party – a beautiful music burger with Mariah’s fluffy voice as the bread, the Tom Tom Club as the meat, and some extra dressings courtesy of Puff Daddy’s crisp production and ODB’s sizzling flow. But after the party dies down, the implications of the lyrics will hit you: you have these visions of the opportunities that await you after college, but it’s all just a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby.

Todd Rundgren “Bang On the Drum All Day”

You feel like you’re in a repetitive commercial when you listen to this song. And who doesn’t want to be in a commercial? Those people are so happy, and only need a single product to maintain their plastic bliss. I don’t wanna work, I wanna bang on my drum all day. I don’t wanna work, I wanna bang on my drum all day. I don’t wanna work, I wanna bang on my drum all day. Inspiring.

Paula Cole “I Don’t Wanna Wait”

1) ’90s nostalgia. Dawson’s Creek, whoa, I remember that show, or maybe I don’t, but I remember the older kids talking about it on the playground, I think? Was that the one where the five orphans had to bond together or …? Wait … uhh…  2) Reminds you that this is the last chance to let the ones you love know that you love them. No, you cannot tell them after you graduate. It’s a different world out there.

Sarah McLachlan “I Will Remember You”

“Don’t let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories.” Also, revel in more ’90s nostalgia.

James Ingram & Linda Rondstat “Somewhere Out There”

Somewhere out there / Beneath the pale moonlight / An employer’s thinking of me / I hope she’ll hire me so I won’t have to resort to scraping mustard out of a jar tonight

Dent May & His Magnificent Ukulele “At the Academic Conference”

For those of you moving on to grad school instead of facing the long cold winter of the job market — this song is adorable. As the protagonist sings about trying to charm a grad student past his lack of smarts, you can win over your own grad student by playing this song and showing him or her how adorable you are. Failproof strategy.

Vitamin C “Graduation Song”

A timeless classic.

Weird Al “I Love Rocky Road”

More timeless than the “Graduation Song.”

Insane Clown Posse “Miracles”

With your degree, you may be able to explain to a juggalo how “fuckin’ magnets” work! Unless you’re a humanities or arts major, in which case you may explain how ICP’s face paint creates a communitas a la the theories of Victor Turner.