Drawn and Quoted

Witch Craze – News flash to everyone who relishes digging up old videos of Delaware Senate hopeful Christine O’Donnell describing her past forays into witchcraft: Witches aren’t real. Okay, they think they’re real, but they’re not.

I have to admit that I was a bit upset when I first saw her latest campaign ad, in which she boldly proclaimed that she was not a witch right at the start of the ad. I won’t lie. I was sort of hoping she was a real live witch. In our current political climate, where absolutely nothing ever gets done, maybe a politician being able to cast spells and work a little magic would be a good thing.

Make the Grade – Los Angeles County is working on a law that would hold food trucks to the same health and sanitation standards as normal restaurants that do not have wheels. Yes, the day has finally come when you can find out whether your favorite “roach coach” is actually a safe place to get food; they will be required to display letter grades similar to the “A” that has to be on the windows of regular eateries.

This is the end of an era. You know, there is just something exhilarating about ordering food from a truck that is just a little bit dirty. Nothing wrong with a few flies in the kitchen, is there? Can we really expect a truck to stay spotless when it has to drive 10 miles on the 101 freeway before it can serve people?

Besides, the Kogi truck is really underrated. I totally love waiting in line for over an hour in L.A. summer heat on a busy street corner for food I could easily make at home. It’s awesome.

Just Swipe It – Has anyone else noticed that every parking meter in the entire world takes plastic now? Gone are the days when you have to remember to bring change for the parking permit when heading out for a day at the beach. Now you can just swipe and go. Apparently, this has become a huge source of revenue for local governments. I don’t understand why people are suddenly deciding not to park for free at the nearest grocery store. Sure, it’s technically not legal. Just walk in, buy something, loiter for a while then be on your way.

Leave Favre Alone – Can somebody please give Grandpa Favre a break? I don’t really know whether or not he actually sent out these so-called “inappropriate” text messages or not, mostly due to the fact that I only read the one-sentence headline and immediately denied its veracity because my blind reverence for Favre cannot be subjected to reason and critical thought. Look, the guy started playing football when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, and he’s still better than most starting quarterbacks in the NFL. Oh, and he also holds almost every major record a quarterback can hold.

I’m not saying he did send out those shady texts, but even if he did, can we just leave him alone and let him play in peace? I think he has earned this one. Also, in his defense, the cheerleader in question is quite an attractive young lady. But yeah, he didn’t do it.

Yes They Can – Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg had dinner recently. They probably had a conversation at some point during that dinner. So… All of the problems of the entire human race should be solved pretty soon.

Still, Don’t Ask or Tell – President Obama must be taking lessons from Mitt Romney, because he’s kind of all over the place right now. I don’t think he even knows what his own positions are anymore. The recent developments surrounding “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” are a perfect example of what I’m talking about.

Obama, apparently, is very opposed to DADT and has vowed that the policy will end on his watch. Then, when a federal judge finally ordered the end of the policy last week, the Obama Administration moved to appeal the decision. Now he is saying that he still wants to do away with DADT, but that it has to be brought down the right way.

Sometimes, a bad policy just has to end. Does it really matter how it happened? Can’t Obama just take advnatage of the moment and go along with the decision?

A New Car – Remember that Terry Jones guy that was planning on burning copies of the Koran on 9/11? Apparently, his local neighborhood Hyundai dealer offered him a brand new 2011 Hyundai for not going through with it, and they followed through on the deal. Verdict: Worth it.

Extreme Makeover: Senate Edition – GOP Senate hopeful Carly Fiorina claimed this week that incumbent Barbara Boxer is “too extreme for California.” Not so. You know what’s too extreme for California? Crappy HP laptops that don’t work. So there.