Drawn and Quoted

Desperate Housewife – Seven years into the game, it looks like Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are getting a divorce. Apparently, Tony did that thing professional basketball players always do where they hook up with other people that aren’t their wives. Gentlemen everywhere would be well-advised to get back to the gym and start brushing their teeth more than once a day because Eva Longoria is officially available. That’s right, she is out there on the market. Single and ready to mingle. Additional generic phrase that describes someone that is not in a committed relationship.

This better not affect Tony’s play on the court, by the way. It better not.

Download Alert – It’s been a long, long, long time, but the entire Beatles catalog is now available for download on the iTunes Music Store. Those of you that were totally planning on getting into their music this whole time but didn’t have any way to access it until now should feel very relieved. I’m so glad the timeless music of the Beatles is now available to a wider audience.

Unfortunately, acquiring the Beatles’ music in the iTunes Store was also Steve Jobs’ last step in achieving total world domination. He now controls literally everything everywhere.

The Rent Is Too Damn High – Fact #1: Considering the country as a whole, the Republican Party won the midterm elections by about 5 million votes. Fact #2: Fourteen million people, ages 18 to 29, voted for Obama in 2008, but stayed home this time around.

So, in a few months when Mitch McConnell and John Boehner move to cut unemployment benefits, take health insurance away from sick children, and cut taxes for people in an income bracket you will never reach, maybe you’ll regret not voting. Or maybe you’ll be happy. I mean, Republican principles worked out so well for us this past decade. Let’s stick with them. I’m sure the middle class will get a better deal out of Mitch McConnell than they have out of Nancy Pelosi.

DADT Update – The Obama administration’s stance on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is officially more confusing and ridiculous than the justification given by George Lucas for creating the Jar-Jar Binks character. I don’t even know where they stand anymore. They said they wanted to repeal it, and then chose to do the opposite when given the perfect opportunity. Now, they’re trying to tell gay and lesbian Americans that they still care about repealing the controversial law, even though they have demonstrated time and time again that it is not a priority on the agenda.

I think the administration has now cried wolf one too many times on this one. It’s basically the same as my current situation at home. My wife keeps asking me to fix our shower drain, and I always say I’m going to do it and that I agree that it’s important and needs to be done. And then I don’t do it. She continues to ask, and I continue to watch “Family Guy” reruns instead. I think she is starting to suspect that I might not really care about fixing the shower drain. That’s basically the deal with the Obama administration and DADT.