Ke$ha Goes Bankrupt

Photo Courtesy of RCA Records

Ah, Ke$ha. It’s hard to say how I feel about the ho. On one hand, she makes me worry for the scrawny pre-teen girls getting ready for school to her music. But the sleazy chick inside of me just keeps wanting to give her a chance.

Her new EP “Cannibal” is a follow-up to her last album “Animal,” which I will shamefully admit was not so bad-ish. Meaning I maybe added a few tracks onto some CDs that I made for my car, no big deal.

Unfortunately, “Cannibal” was an all too hasty attempt at trying to recreate the party-girl vibe of Ke$ha’s last album. What was good on “Animal” — the I’m-gonna-party-all-night-and-brush-my-teeth-with-hard-alcohol-and-maybe-grab-some-guy’s-junk-in-a-club thing — is overdone on “Cannibal” and, after listening to it, was just played out.

The opening track, “Cannibal,” starts off with a pretty cool beat and Ke$ha’s signature white girl rap, but after the first few lines, it just gets plain weird: “I think you’re hot, I think you’re cool/You’re the kinda guy I’d stalk in school/But now that I’m famous, you’re up my anus/Now I’m gonna eat you fool!” …what? Why is he up her anus? And, more importantly, why does that make her want to eat him? The chorus continues with “I eat boys up, breakfast and lunch/Then when I’m thirsty, I drink their blood,” in which the creepy and random analogy only overshadows Ke$ha’s shot at trying to be original in her songwriting. Although, at the end she does deliver a pretty good “roar.” I’ll give her that.

The next couple of songs are easier to bear. “We R Who We R,” which is her single out right now, had the same effect on me as “TiK ToK” did last year. It’s obnoxious, the lyrics are all about partying all night and she makes too many references to the DJ, but it’s fun to blast in your car as you shut your windows and put on your sunglasses for disguise.

Then there’s “Sleazy,” which from the name you’d think would be the worst track on the album. Alas, you are mistaken! Ke$ha sing-raps about the hoard of guys trying to impress her with their fat stacks of dough, and responds with, “I don’t need you or your brand new Benz/Or your bougie friends/I don’t need love, looking like diamonds/Looking like diamonds” followed by a 21-second block of “get sleazy.” Perhaps you won’t relate to the lyrics like I do, but the beat and hip-hop sound make for a good song to dance to … in a sleazy way.

From there, the rest of the album is just plain downhill with the exception of one ballad (yes, Ke$ha apparently sings ballads) entitled “The Harold Song.” It starts off with a “Teenage Dream”-esque vibe and segues into Ke$ha gushing about a lost love, probably named Harold. The lack of autotune and uncommon depth of her lyrics make for a legitimately emotional song when she sings, “They say that true love hurts, well this could almost kill me … /I would give it all to not be sleeping alone” and “It was my past life, a beautiful time/Drunk off of nothing but each other ‘til the sunrise.” Dang, Ke$ha, I had no idea! Maybe you should put down the Jack and write like this more often.

Unfortunately, the song is sandwiched between songs like “Blow” and “Crazy Beautiful Life,” which just smack us back into the immature and grody mind that is Ke$ha. At some point, singing about partying ‘til the sunrise (which seems to happen every night for her), eating boys (?) and running an excessively dirty mouth gets really, really old. And that point is now.

I will close with a few wise lines from the song “Grow a Pear,” which if you couldn’t tell is a reference to testicles. “Yeah I think you’re hot/I think you’re alright/But you’re acting like a chick all the time/You were cool and now you’re not just like that/When you grow a pair/You can call me back” and the grand finale, “But I just can’t date a dude with a vag.”
Did she just say vag? Yes. “Vag” as in “vagina.”

Sadly, Ke$ha didn’t win my heart this time with “Cannibal.” I think I got my sleazy music fill with her last album. If she doesn’t think of new material soon, I wouldn’t suggest putting out another album anytime in the near future. Until then, I’ll save my “Cannibal” album as my soundtrack to taking lukewarm Smirnoff shots out of Dixie cups. While getting “Sleazy,” naturally.

Rating: 2 out of 5