UCI’s #FirstWorldProblems

Things seem to be sailing quite smoothly on our fair campus and sometimes the state of the world is a little too heavy for such an unseasonably warm January.  So instead of editorializing something hard-hitting, we’ve chosen to throw our hats in to the whiny college student competition.  Here are the things that really grind our privileged gears here at UCI:

Water cups at Starbucks: What the hell are those paper cones doing at Starbucks? The only time anyone should ever eat or drink anything out of a paper cone is if it’s a snowcone. We hope you didn’t plan on putting that “cup” of water down!

Occupy Campus during finals week: Is there anything more gross than seeing people camped out in the Student Center, Gateway or Starbucks during finals week?  It’s as if during finals week, people lose all their standards of privacy and hygiene.  Every time we walk by these little refugee camps of students, they give us dirty looks, like WE’RE the ones who haven’t showered in three days and have been living off a diet solely consisting of Hot Cheetos and coffee. If you’re at the point where you need to bring a sleeping bag with you to Starbucks to get any studying done, then there is something wrong with you.

KUCI being too cool for us: We totally respect KUCI.  They’re really cool, creative and awesome people.  But seriously, when you tune in to 88.9 FM, you hear some of the most unlistenable music of all time. We appreciate avoiding the mainstream, but sometimes it’s OK to take a little side step closer to the fray. (Not The Fray, though, just sayin’.)

Parking: Parking is definitely the worst thing about UCI. It’s expensive and inconvenient everywhere you go. If you live in Camino, prepare to walk a mile or two to get to the ARC parking structure (parking you pay nearly $300 a quarter for). If you ever want to park in the Student Center, it’ll cost you $10. And if you try to rebel against the system and park at UTC, be ready to pay a few hundred bucks once your car gets towed. You would think that a school run by intelligent, competent people would be able to figure out better parking.

Reception: Can you hear us now? No? Oh of course not, it’s because you’re in Arroyo Vista, Camino, VDC or Norte, where cell phones go to die.  Apparently the lack of reception (which affects people with AT&T, Verizon and pretty much any other service provider) is due to a lack of cell phone towers in the area. If American Campus Communities is going to go through all the time and money to build these lovely housing areas, you think they could do something about the reception? It would be really nice to actually be able to use our phones where we live.

And just to name a few other gripes:

–  Bio majors in arts or humanities lectures who watch “Naruto” on their laptops.

–  Freshmen who go home every weekend.

– Everything about having to traverse Watson Bridge.

– Those “save the whales, America, Christianity, what-have-you” people with fliers.

– The alarming saturation of LMFAO at any given moment.

–  People who walk in the bike lanes in Aldrich Park.

These things may be trivial, but all we can say after we laugh at our own snobbery is: “For real though … ”

What minor concerns really get you seeing red, Anteaters?

Please send comments to newuopinion@newuniversity.org. Include your name, year and major.