By Julia McAlpine
It’s my last quarter at UCI, and I’ve suddenly realized I am a terrible excuse for an Anteater. I planned to become a daring, adventurous coed in college, yet I’ve really only gone as far as to develop an affinity for milk tea. These are the top five things I regret not doing while at UCI:
1. Attending a sporting event
I thought I should shed light on my most shameful regret first. There’s this thing called “school spirit” and I apparently did not cultivate this the way a normal college student should. I have not attended a single sporting event during my four years at UCI. Even Leonardo DiCaprio takes time out of his busy schedule to root for UCI baseball! And while Leo dons a supportive cap in public, I reserve my UCI sweatshirt for special occasions — the most hermit-like of laundry days. Most of all, I regret (above failure to attend a baseball or basketball game), that I have never been to a dance show at UCI. Might as well start training now for all those artsy matinees you’ll be seeing in your 70s.
2. Trying Korean Barbeque
I know. To be fair, I had tacos from the Kogi truck once! But there really isn’t an excuse for this. I think the fact that Korean BBQ is so prevalent on campus has had a reverse psychological affect on me. I need to get myself to one of those all-you-can-eat places, pronto.
3. Living in the dorms/participating in the Campuswide Honors Program
I thought I was cool when I applied for UCI housing my first year and selected Arroyo Vista. I lived in the mixed level Humanities House, so I figured I’d be taken under the wings of second-years, and we’d all wear berets and perform beat poetry or something, while the freshmen in the dorms would play childish games of capture-the-flag. Alas, there were no berets.
I wish I had lived in Middle Earth, and specifically that I’d participated in CHP and had spent my first year in the Shire. Why? Because living in “The Lord of the Rings”-themed housing gives you eternal nerdom bragging rights, and CHP gets the earliest enrollment windows (even more bragging rights to be had).
4. Making better use of the ARC facilities
Rock wall? Didn’t climb it, even on the women’s night. I do think I avoided it mostly because the rock wall is at the very front of the ARC and my inability to Spiderman it on up would be showcased for all to see. But I should have faced my social fears. I also should have taken sailing lessons, Zumba, break-dancing and you know, worked out regularly (to make room for Korean BBQ).
5. Taking advantage of UCI’s gorgeous SoCal location
I wish I’d gone to the beach more often, seeing as it’s right there, and done something about my vampiress complexion. I could have become some cool surfing chick by now, but instead, I stayed in my cave of education. And spent too much time on YouTube. Wishing.
I didn’t take advantage of campus either. I have so often thought of how I should read in Aldrich Park, yet it’s happened only a handful of times. And what about all those picnic plans I pondered? I instead only graced the park with my presence in the process of getting to and from the land of far-away classes.
1. I regret failing to document the time the “Swagman” walked right by me. We shared the same air, and I could feel some swagger transfer to my swagless self. I was never the same.
2. I still don’t get the whole exploring-the-tunnels dealio.
Clearly, I need to spend my last quarter at UCI making up for as much of this underachievement fiasco as I can. If you’re young and still have time to right any of your own wrongs, heed my warning! There is still time! Pump everyone up with your school spirit, learn to fence and get the tan I could never achieve.
And if you have a good metabolism, you should do the Quarter Club at the pub for the sake of all mankind. There are undoubtedly more universal bragging rights that come with that achievement than living in a dorm named after Frodo’s hometown.