5 Things I Hate About Spring
By Julia McAlpine
Normal people seem to like spring. Birds chirp and flowers bloom and yada-yada. Maybe if I lived somewhere with actual seasons, I’d be a bigger fan of spring, but spring in California just seems like an annoying poser of summer.
1. Allergies: Spring has sprung and now I’m sneezing in pastel dresses. I’ve got watery eyes, a red nose and a voice that sounds like Chuckie from “Rugrats.” Cute accessories, Mother Nature. Spring is supposed to be a time when love is in the air, but excess pollen undoubtedly puts your game in the backseat.
2. Unpredictable weather: It’ll rain one day, and seem like Death Valley the next. But it always catches me off guard. I’ll try to rock a winter coat one last time, and end up panting on the way to class, or I’ll forgo a sweater and end up stuck in a downpour, re-enacting the escape scene from “Shawshank Redemption.”
3. Getting in shape for bathing suit season: In the winter it’s acceptable to binge on animal-style fries and double-doubles, and conceal the consequences with layers. Then spring arrives and the extra fat can’t be brushed off as some sort of necessary snowboarding padding. A depressing diet of spring mix lettuce and almond milk ensues, accompanied by endless crunches (the ab kind, not the eating kind).
4. Difficulty doing homework while the sun is shining: Plato has a certain appeal on chilly days, but when the sun is out full-force, I can’t be bothered to ponder the world of forms. I’d rather be seaside, celebrating Poseidon, munching on a sketchy food truck gyro.
5. The realization that you need a new wardrobe: The same thing happens every spring. I look through my closet, expecting to find a wonderful stash of summer clothes, only to realize I got rid of my staple items or wore them out the previous year. I thought I had shorts. I thought I had flip-flops. Where did I put my bathing suit? I do own one, right? And then it’s time to go rummage through all the floral prints at Forever 21 and try to find clothing that doesn’t make me look like a walking greenhouse.
When you put all these things aside, spring really is a nice time of the year. After all, it’s pointing toward summer! So get crackin’ on your spring cleaning (does anyone actually do that?), stock up on Claritin and don’t forget to shave your legs!