ROMNEYTRON: Self-destruct!

Three weeks ago, the polls looked scary. For Dems, it appeared as though their Messiah may not win a second term. For the GOP, it seemed as though the R-Money might not be able to win presidency and kill baby seals, or whatever it is Republicans do in office. There were a few key battleground states that were up in the air. No one really knew who they would go to.

Fast-forward to this week, and Obama has taken the lead. He is now ahead upwards of 15 percent in some previously tied states. So, what happened to the Romnitron 3000? To understand why his campaign suddenly imploded, you have to understand what is going on around the real life Ken doll.

Romney doesn’t know how to speak; at least in a way that won’t come off sounding elitist. He just says these things that make people wonder if he’s a real person, or just some evil, callous robot from the planet Kolob. Recently, at a $50,000 per seat fundraiser, the Mittster said that 47 percent of Americans were voting for his opponent because they were lazy, uneducated, “felt like victims,” relied on government handouts and needed to “take responsibility and care for their lives.” He concluded that “those people” would never vote for him. He ended the statement with a confession from the heart, “My job is not to worry about those people.” The good news is, it probably won’t be his job.

It’s statements like that, which cause not only True Blues to take to Tumblr with memes of Romney hate, but also Republicans to shake their heads and consider moving to Canada following this next election (we’re still waiting on you, Limbaugh).

Even the people closest to Romney have been jumping the burning wreckage of his campaign. Tim Pawlenty, co-chair of Romnisaurus’ campaign, resigned to work as a lobbyist for … wait for it … Wall Street. In addition to Pawlenty, other staffers have told the media that the campaign is “imploding.”

Perhaps his staffers are as frustrated as the American people are with the fact that you can never get a straight answer out of R-dog. A few weeks ago, Romney decided to switch his stance on what he would repeal and not repeal in Obama’s healthcare bill. He was quoted as saying before that he would repeal the entire bill on his first day in office. Apparently, he finally got around to reading it, and realized his own health care proposition was virtually the same thing. Later, he said he did not support the Affordable Health Care Act’s ban on discrimination against pre-existing conditions. This is in spite of him specifically stating he supported that part of the bill.

It isn’t so much that Romney changes his mind on issues; people do that as they learn more about things. What is at the heart of this problem is that Romney’s beliefs seem to change depending on who he’s talking to. He’s a pandering chameleon, except he’s doing a poor job at it, and his supporters notice. That’s why they’ve started leaking videos of his crazy-talk dinner speeches.

Meanwhile, Paul Ryan, essentially bound and gagged, has been released from Romney’s broom closet when they are at a rally full of supporters. Perhaps the Republican Party doesn’t want another Palin on their hands.

While that’s understandable, Ryan is the only hope Romney has at turning this campaign around. Especially considering that he’ll be going head-to-head against Obama soon.

The debate is coming up, and Romney is going to be in trouble. Obama is a much better speaker than Romney, and since candidates are held accountable (somewhat) more during debates, by either the moderator or the other candidate, Mittens can’t get away with the nonsensical lies he’s been saying at his rallies. This will be especially interesting, considering a recent George Mason University study that rated over 26 percent of Romney’s campaign statements as false or “pants on fire” lies. While some Republicans enjoy telling each other stories about how Obama can only read from a teleprompter, don’t forget that he has a knack for improvised speeches (case in point: his question and answer session at the Republican House Caucus, which he did so well at, that he was not invited back).

Furthermore, during the debates regarding foreign policy, Romney will have, essentially, nothing of value to add. Most importantly though, there is just something about the guy that the more people see him, the less they like him. And that isn’t my opinion, that’s an actual Gallup poll. It probably has something with him being so relatable — you know, with his low tax rate, Cayman Islands bank accounts and elevators just for his cars.

So, while Romney is just burning his campaign to the ground, Obama is looking great. He killed some terrorists. The economy is on the rise and kicking. He slow jammed with Jimmy Fallon. He pretty much sealed the election.

At this rate, it doesn’t even matter if Romney wants Clint Eastwood to talk to an empty chair.

Pretty soon, that will be the only thing that wants to vote Romney.

Justin Huft is a fourth-year psychology and social ecology double major. He can be reached at jhuft@uci.edu.