Colbert is ‘America Again’

Courtesy of Hatchette Group

I’m shocked, shocked that you would even question, “Is Stephen Colbert’s book worth reading? Let me check the reviews first.”

That is your first mistake. You questioned. You questioned America.

And why did Stephen Colbert have to write a follow-up to his number-one New York Times best seller “I Am America (And So Can You!)”? Because America questioned America. Americans as a whole have begun to doubt the greatness of this magnificent country, and only one person has the self-assuredness and doesn’t-care-what-those-traitors-say-edness about him to set the record straight: Stephen Colbert. The man, the myth … the America.

So how does this hero go about bringing us back around to American Exceptionalism (a term he admits to have borrowed from Joseph Stalin, which is okay, because all that remains of the former communist leader now is the term “American Exceptionalism” and that horrifying, sentient mustache)?

Well, much like I was shocked that you would even have to read a review in order to affirm that you should in fact read this book, Stephen Colbert is shocked that he even has to say that America is exceptional. “To be forced by your doubt to say out loud that America is exceptional implies something ugly,” he says. “It’s like telling the host of a dinner party, ‘I’m certain your wife is a female.’ Saying it out loud feels wrong, no matter how large her hands are.”

And since we’ve established that America is exceptional, or, as Colbert puts it, “Americeptional,” (because there is too much distance between “America” and “Exceptional” in the phrase “America is exceptional”), how do we fix it? Because, admittedly, even something as Americeptional as America can use a tune-up every now and then. Colbert lays out a nine-point plan covering “Jobs,” “Healthcare,” “Wall Street,” “Energy,” “Elections,” “Justice,” “Food,” “Easy Solutions” and “I Am Drunk.”

Colbert, along with co-writers and editors Richard Dahm, Paul Dinello, Barry Julien and Tom Purcell, is still just as great as he proved himself to be with his first book, if not better. Simply put, “America Again” is hilarious. If you love any one of the following — comedy, laughter, joy, entertainment, Jamba Juice, James Cameron’s “Avatar,” America — then you will love this book.

By the way, I have used the terms “America,” American,” and “Americeptional” in this review 21 times so far. Well, 28 if you count “Colbert” as another way to say America (which I do). What have you done for our country lately?

In short, buy this book. Do not borrow it, do not download it … buy it. If nothing else, when people see it on your bookshelf, they will respect you for being a true hero and a patriot.

And seriously (yes, I’m actually being serious here), this book is worth the $28.99. I know we’re all struggling college students, but if you buy “America Again,” it will be difficult to regret it. Also, if you buy “America Again,” it can double as a coaster, a doorjamb, a way to even out your wobbly Ikea coffee table or a high source of fiber — it’s like you’re buying five things for the price of one. You’d be a fool to pass up that deal.

To repeat, buy this book. If nothing else, do it for America.

Rating: 5 out of 5