Stick to the Super Bowl, Aerosmith

After eight long years without a record release, critically-acclaimed and award-winning ’80s rockers Aerosmith are back in action with their latest record titled “Music from Another Dimension!” Unfortunately for them, their latest release fails to impress at nearly every aspect of the musical spectrum, and instead acts as proof as to why the band should simply retire.

Hardcore fans of the band would disagree with my previous statement and claim that Steven Tyler and company still have the ability to rock in spite of their old age. However, even though the album is a well-produced piece, arranged by some of rock’s most legendary and enduring artists in the genre, it simply lacks any sort of creativity or eccentric charm. Long gone are the days of “Dream On” and the incredible performances in the ’80s and early ’90s. Instead, the band has become a moribund group that has gone through hell and high waters to stay together when they should have already retired.

The album can be best summarized as unsustainable, generic hard rock with the only worth-listening-to material being its catchy and somewhat strong singles. The lead single’s music video “Legendary Child,” gives an advertising-like intro of the band, claiming it to be the greatest rock band of all time due to its ability to surpass the challenges of time, drugs, divorce, trends and shark attacks. Though a bit pretentious in nature, the song manages to feature a solid riff by Joe Perry and Steven Tyler is still able to perform strong vocals.

However, the look and stage presence of the band is a bit comical, as their age shows with their performance. The next two singles, “Lover Alot” and “What Could Have Been Love,” feature the same style displayed in “Legendary Child” but take it to a deeper emotional level. Very much in ’80s fashion, these songs act as love ballads with cheesy harmonies and lyrics of broken hearts, except that the ability for someone in their 20s isn’t there; I suppose I’m too young for this kind of music.

Their latest single “Can’t Stop Loving You” features singer Carrie Underwood alongside Tyler. You might know her as “American Idol’s” winner of season four. The song isn’t a particularly bad tune, but it does feel like an overproduced and prepackaged single without much thought or care for the quality.

The rest of the songs, as stated before, are too repetitive in nature to be worth mentioning. Nearly every song is set in a hard rock or ballad-style tune about some lost love from the past, patriotism or a broken heart. It would be best for them to reconsider their musical career and do what they do best at their current age: performing their classic hits, judging for “American Idol” or performing at a future Super Bowl.

Rating: 2/5