Short Stories, Shorter

Students taking the English 10 course titled “Moby Dick” were surprised to discover that “Call me Ishmael” is not the only sentence.

Facebook will soon introduce a new feature it’s calling “Referential Mania.” The name is from a Vladimir Nabokov story in which a character believes that everyday events are somehow “a veiled reference to his existence.” Facebook is working diligently to unveil that veil.

“Please stop quoting me. I like to remain anonymous,” an anonymous source by the name of J.D. Salinger allegedly said to reporters.

The Republican-led House of Representatives is staging a fierce protest against Obamacare. The uninsured Americans who are planning on getting cancer should postpone their diagnoses indefinitely.

David Frost, who was famously known for interviewing Richard Nixon, died recently. Nixon is reportedly over the moon in his grave.

Reuters headline: “Scientists more convinced mankind is main cause of warming.” The news did not get as much attention because Americans are awaiting a verdict on the Scopes Trial.

In 2010, France banned full-face Islamic veils. The feminist groups in France believed that a burqa symbolizes women’s submission to men. The French prefers women’s submission to the law.

Reuters headline: “Blackberry confirms deep loss and revenue drop.” Detroit city officials are helping Blackberry with an approaching bankruptcy. “Detroit suffered similar losses before it went bankrupt. We have all the experience one needs with once-beloved but now bankrupt institutions,” a Detroit city official said.

 

Sumeet Singh is a fourth-year English major. He can be reached at sumees1@uci.edu.