Over the twenty-something-odd years of my life, I don’t think I’ve ever given myself a New Year’s resolution. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen too many people say their year-long goal was this or that, only to have it end up neither here nor there. It seemed like a fleeting business to me.
But here’s the thing — the typical resolution for a new year is one involving self-improvement. Maybe that means the plan is to lose weight or improve a terrible work ethic or finally find someone you can call your partner when you realize you have no one to kiss by the time the clock strikes 12. That’s good and all, but what about those of us who don’t exactly have much direction in life?
There’s such a large population of college students who just aren’t sure what they want to do once they’re thrusted into the perilous, unforgiving world of messy adulthood. I’ve never heard someone make a statement that they’re going to expand their search into what their passion is. And for those who do, there are still some who just have a vague idea as to what they want to do with it. I’m currently part of the latter.
My passion is in creative writing. It took two years’ worth of college life for me to realize that. Presently, I’m looking into how I can use this skill of mine in a career.
I have a habit of noticing the qualities of people and turning all of them into a melting pot of a character. I still envision very specific scenarios instantly when I listen to a melody that just clicks with my artistic side. I’ve got all the ingredients for something—maybe even something good. And yet I’ve barely written anything this past year. My lack of having any substantially important work has left me on a level of emotional deadness.
As the future influences to this world, we’re always told that we have plenty of time to find out what we want in life. It’s a comfort and a curse — “plenty of time” is the positive equivalent to “the clock is ticking”.
So as I lay writing, let me establish that if you’re still looking for your passion in life, don’t stop. And if you’ve found it, don’t stop doing it. Apathy is a painful stasis that leads to a freeze in time as the world passes on without you. Take a few minutes daily to look up something interesting. Make goals, but also, form habits. There should be just as much work and progress as there is excitement and dedication for an ambition. Despite all the good and bad, both should be loved.
I think to my very far off future and hope my final thoughts, as I lay dying, will be that I lived the life I wanted to as much as I could. Life is a complex piece of indescribable nothing. So obviously, I’ve oversimplified everything. Nonetheless, I’m going to keep doing what I do — cross my heart and hope to write. Or you know, just write.